Topic Title: Diagnosis...
| |  "Diagnosis..."
, Tue 7 Mar 04:17:
Hi,
I'm trying to diagnose the cause/reasons for my cyclic moods and determine whether SJW or anything else would be suitable for my problem.
My general mood I would say is loosely "normal" but I only experience 1-2 days a week in this state. I sleep okay, have relatively normal energy levels and get along okay with people at work etc. In this state I am slightly withdrawn, happy enough to keep to myself or just chat to people I know reasonably well while focussing on the job at hand. Although in what I would call a "normal" state, I have become aware of a low level anxiety around people, particularly people I don't know particularly well.
From time to time I seem to slip into a few days of a more depressed/anxious state, where I have less energy and have trouble getting up in the mornings. I ususally keep to myself even more in these times (more "afraid" of others) and life seems a lot "sader" than usual. I have trouble concentrating at work and my memory and thought process seems to slow down considerably, so much so that I'll get nothing done all day.
I then swing to the other extreme, where I get a huge wave of energy and confidence that energises my thoughts and interactions with people. I quickly become the center of attention in conversations with individuals and groups and develop a desire to communicate with others in a way that wasn't there before. Work, relationships and life become much fuller and more enjoyable and I am truly happy with myself in these times. This state will last for 1-2 days before returning back to normal and then further into the depressed state, and so on and so forth.
I have spoken to a lot of people regarding this situation. Some people have said that it's just good and bad days but I am quite an observant person and have noticed that many of my collegues and friends seem to be relatively "stable" as far as their day to day and week to week mood is concerned. Every day you get the same person, maybe a bad day occasionally but nothing out of the ordinary. For me however, I feel like I'm a different person from one week to the next, full of energy and life for a few days and then gradually getting more depressed over the next week.
I find this cycle frustrating because a lot of the ground work I make with people, work and other projects is lost after the 1-2 days energy wave has subsided. I'll withdraw into my shell once again and the jokes or stories I've shared with collegues are seemingly forgotten. I'm aware of this change happening but when the enthusiasm and happiness goes from within me, it's like I don't care anymore. If I try and make the effort to be "out there" and "happy" and "confident" it feels forced and uncomfortable. It's like my personality has been extinguished for a while and I just plod along waiting for it to return.
I am also worried that my normal mood and depressed mood (about 75-80% of the time) may be holding me back in areas of my life I think I should be doing well. I consider myself to be quite intelligent and good at my job, but I can really only flex my muscle when I'm in a really good mood. The same is true for networking, socialising etc. When I'm normal or depressed I lose interest and motivation and have to make up for it all when I get my "good" mood back.
I have tried a range of different things to stabilise and improve my general mood, such as exercise, cutting out alcohol and coffee, meditation etc. Although these things make me feel better generally, I am still beholden to these changing moods. I did think I had something like bipolar but my depression certainly isn't clinical (only lasts a few days) and I wouldn't class my good mood as being "high"... I just feel completely normal and happy.
Right now I feel okay but there's a dull and persistant sadness inside me. I've had a good day but I think I'm returning to normal now... the next few days will probably be worse but the weekend should be okay :)
If anyone has experienced anything like this or has any comments or advice I'd be most appreciative. I just want to stabilise and improve my mood so I can get the most out of life.
T&R,
Wilson.
[this message was edited by wilson on Tue 7 Mar 04:19]
Posts: 3 | | Registered: Wed 24 Sep 2003 4:51 |
| Replies:
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| | "Re(1):Diagnosis..." , Tue 7 Mar 14:37
From what you say I'm wondering if you might be experiencing bipolar symptoms, rapid cycling, possibly not as extreme as some people's in duration, but nevertheless very upsetting. Sjw might help, but it might cause more instability. I'd be cautious in dosage if you try it.
Posts: 88 | | Registered: Sat 7 May 2005 17:9 |
| | "Re(1):Diagnosis..." , Tue 7 Mar 05:01
Wilson,
It was a bit weird for me reading your posting, because I could relate to so much of it. My situation unfortunately has got to the stage where I have been signed off a pretty decent job for over a year.
I particularly identified with:
The 'low' state, where mental energy and self-confidence are really lacking and you feel withdrawn. During these periods you seem to lose all your 'brightness' and it is difficult to be around people. Memory and concentration are also badly affected.
The 'high' state where you feel sharper and brighter than other people. Decisions are easy, confidence is high and you feel you can solve any problem and light up a room just by walking into it.
I don't think anyone goes through a whole day feelng exactly the same hour after hour, and as long as one's contrasting moods can be kept within bounds it doesn't severely impact upon your life.
The problem I personally had was that the lows started to get worse, such that I couldn't bear to be around the workplace. Meetings became nightmares, because I felt like a zombie and I just couldnt compute mentally. Time stood still while I was at work and I just seized up.
Work and depression just don't mix. As soon as the depression reached a certain level being in work was just a phoney situation. I was in bits, producing absolutely nothing and for the most part staring vacantly into space. My mate Jan used to shout across the desk, "Stocker, you're staring again, lad".
Often the first instinct of the doctor / consultant is to diagnose stress. Stress may have something to do with it, but my gut feeling is that the stress often results from underlying depression rather than the cause of it. In other words being in the workplace while suffering from even mild depression is about as 'stressful' as it is possible to imagine.
It sounds like what you experience is not as bad as my case, but I totally understand where you're coming from.......and it is perfectly normal. My personal opinion is that the 'low mood' equates to absolutely plum normal mild depression (your symptoms are absolutely text-book).....but you probably know that already.
Well.....you're on an SJW message board, so if you feel that you would benefit from some sort of medication I would definitely suggest giving it a try. Have a look round the home pages on this site and the message board postings. These contain much useful suggestions and information. If pushed, I would recommend Perika brand SJW. It really helped me for a couple of years.
My e-mail address is [email protected] if you want to talk further.
Sheephead.
Posts: 162 | | Registered: Sun 29 Dec 2002 11:31 |
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