Topic Title: SJW is not enough
| |  "SJW is not enough"
, Fri 20 Jan 13:31:
I've posted to the board, but not under this name. I'm about to bring up a controversial issue, and I need to lay low about it.
This discussion forum is about SJW, and my comment regards meds that are in addition to SJW, because it is not enough for me. I'm just tired of being quiet about it, and I want others to understand this. I've also tried to go with just SJW (and multi-vitamins, omega-3, DHA, ginkgo, gotu-kola, low caffeine and sugar, no alcohol, daily exercise, and lots of reading) and I know its not enough.
Despite my daily/hourly efforts to combat my depression and manic-depressive issues, I just can't seem to function. I work at home and for 4 months have essentially not really done any work. I'm living off money made earlier this year; but its going to run out soon and I just can't get myself to care to complete my other work. I can't stop yelling and or crying at my significant other. I can't do much of anything.
I'm exhausted with being disfunctional and unable to enjoy my world (which, in many ways has some great things about it).
Up until a few years ago I lived in a city and had regular access to marijuana. I always found that smoking a little could ease the mental pain I always felt. It made me not care how screwed up the world is and how desperate all the people around me were. Since then, I moved to a small, conservative, deeply religious town. I haven't made any friends in this town for the 3 1/2 years I've lived here. I'm terribly alone and my signif. other has been suffering because of my terrible depression.
I've hit a wall and I'm tired of being sad and disfunctional. Either I finally take the risky move of getting a medical marijuana prescription (so I can finally grow a few plants in my yard with *less* fear - I can't afford to buy stuff from someone, and the only person I know is in my old city, which is a 6 hour drive from my town) or I commit suicide. I have no more options left. I have no health insurance and live under the poverty line, so prescription meds are impossible. I still expect the cops in this town to harrass me. I expect everyone else to harrass me. I'm lucky to live somewhere that, at least nominally, allows medical marijuana.
I know from experience that a little smoke keeps me functional. Not a lot. Just a little. And I'm not an airline pilot, so I don't have to worry about other people.
I've been taking SJW and it gives me more energy and keeps me from being as depressed, but I'm still extremely suicidal right now because I can't stand going through this for the rest of my life (its already been 20 years of depression).
Again - this is a SJW discussion board; but many of you have posted that SJW is not enough. I'm tired of being demonized and victimized by society for something that I can grow for free on my own property and for something that I KNOW makes me able to suffer through this world. I just needed to speak out because I'm tired of this. Its contributing to my depression.
You people who are demonizing medical marijuana are literally killing me!
[this message was edited by Secret on Fri 20 Jan 15:10]
Posts: 1 | | Registered: Fri 20 Jan 2006 13:4 |
| Replies:
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| | "Re(1):SJW is not enough" , Wed 25 Jan 06:39
I think you need some tough love, get off your arse and do some work so you can afford medical insurance and/or real medication.
Stop making excuses.
Killing yourself is really going to make your partner a ray of sunshine.
SJW and other supplements are not going to help with any severe problems, if you had done done the research you would know that.
Sell your computer, sell your TV, sell anything you don't need to survive and get the help you need.
Posts: 2 | | Registered: Mon 20 Jan 2003 15:41 |
| | "Re(1):SJW is not enough" , Sat 21 Jan 13:13
hi whoever you are, I'm sorry your in such dire straits right now and I do hope you get your prescription cannabis. I'm a drug worker from england and I have smoked cannabis for a few years however due to my bad memory I stopped. I have lots of friends, collegues and family who smoke it as its readily available over here and has recently been decriminalised and down classed. It has its fors and againsts arguements as with anything these days, I have clients who are addicted to cannabis even though studies say this is impossible. I know from my experience the relief it gave me from my worries was enough to have me go and buy it just for those few hours of not feeling the world and his dog was against me.
I have suffered from depression for years and have tried alsorts and have recently detoxed off sleeping tablets after a 5 year stint. I know that feeling, that why the hell can't I just go to sleep and never wake up it would be easier. I'm sorry your feeling so low, I think that if cannabis helps then go for it, if it stops those demons in your head that talk rubbish (and I know how that feels) then take it.
There are pros and cons to everything, and I'm not advocating everyone go roll a joint but if something works for you then I don't think anyone has any room to say its wrong. I hope you get things sorted, takecare and best wishes.
Pixy xx
Posts: 2 | | Registered: Fri 20 Jan 2006 5:45 |
| | | "Re(2):SJW is not enough" , Mon 23 Jan 04:48
I agree, anything that helps take it.
The only issue with smoking weed is that it basically acts like a sedative or tranquilizer, plus unfiltered smoke is not going to do your lungs anygood in the longterm - on the downside I remember being prescribed valium and mogadon when I was just 14, back in 1980 - when all the pressure was external ?? Maybe it has its side effects to, but herbal would still be my preferred choice.
Posts: 22 | | Registered: Thu 5 Jan 2006 20:42 |
| | | "Re(3):SJW is not enough" , Mon 23 Jan 05:28
I hope your ok secret as you don't seem to have said anything since you posted. I do agree with floyd as I as don't smoke ciggarettes I noticed my breathing was different after smoking cannabis. I used a pipe you see as I couldn't hack the tobacco, like I said I haven't in a while now due to it affecting my memory. I know you can bake it too I've tried that but it takes longer to get into your system and you really don't know how much your taking!!. I hope you have found a solution to your problem.
I do hope your ok xx
Posts: 4 | | Registered: Fri 20 Jan 2006 5:45 |
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