Topic Title: Wife to spouse with possible depression
| |  "Wife to spouse with possible depression"
, Thu 18 Aug 11:52
I am very new to the depression disease. I suspect that my spouse suffers from depression due to his behavior. I don't know what to do to confirm my suspcions. At this time, my husband is in his "stage" of non-communication and has gone into isolation from me. The reasons for this make no sense to me because he became angry without a cause before entering into isolation. Seven years ago he started to go into isolation annually, but these past two years it is more frequent. It usually follows an episode where he has been in contact with biological family and begins to feel like a failure. I do my best to reassure him that he is successful, even writing out his accomplishments on paper for him to see visually. That works for a short time, then he goes into isolation and seperates from me mentally and physically. Usually about 1-3 weeks will pass and then he will be open to communication, discussion, making new plans for how we will handle our problems and life will be fine for a while. I am noticing the isolations and anger occur more frequently. Do I discuss this idea that he may be suffering from depression or do I just suggest he visit his doctor to get checked out? We have been in marriage therapy before where I expressed my concern. But my husband denied it and did not want to undergo any tests to confirm or deny the possibility. He then accused me of setting him up. Any suggestions or ideas would be appreciated because I am not even sure I am on the right track. But from the research I did from 2 websites, he could fit the type to suffer from mild depression. I don't want it to escalate when we could catch it sooner. I also don't want to use it as a reason for our problems, but the situations that occurr prior to his isolation times are so minor they don't even make sense. Then he comes through within a period of time. I am really confused.
Thanks ahead of time for your time during this difficulty period again.
Posts: 0 | | Registered: Thu 18 Aug 2005 11:36 |
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| | "Re(1):Wife to spouse with possible depression" , Fri 19 Aug 12:58
I admire you for being open to SJW as a potential solution. Your situation sounds like mine from 3 years ago, and mirrors several other husbands I know. I am 51 and the others I know are within 5 years of 50. I was basically mildly depressed and was taking it out on my family - how my wife put up with it I don't know, but I'll be grateful forever. She did give me an ultimatum - shape up or ship out. That's when I found this web site and became aware of SJW. You can probably find an early post of mine still here where I described about my situation. SJW has worked wonderfully for me. The depression has lifted and I'm much more like my old self. There's not much downside to giving it a try, and potentially a marriage saver on the upside.
Posts: 6 | | Registered: Fri 9 Jan 2004 13:8 |
| | | "Re(2):Wife to spouse with possible depression" , Sun 21 Aug 16:53
Thanks for shedding some light for me. I will look for your site to look for some basic information. I am in the research stage right now because the events occurr more frequently now and without any real cause. Thanks for the support.
Posts: 1 | | Registered: Thu 18 Aug 2005 11:36 |
| | "Re(1):Wife to spouse with possible depression" , Fri 19 Aug 01:34
I am sorry that you and your husband are going through this difficult time.
I think it's ok to look for support, encouragement and even advice in an online forum. What I think is not ok to look for is a diagnostic. It could be that a chemical imbalance is the cause of his depression or maybe he is just unhappy with the way things are going in his life ... It may not be depression at all, it could be midlife crisis or something. Even you as his wife can't say for sure what is going on, much less people here that do not know your husband.
I would advise you to talk to your husband about seeing a doctor. It could be your g.p., a psychologist or psychiatrist, even a good minister at a local church.
I think that this is beyond this forum and SJW. Only a professional would be qualiffied to diagnose and help and/or treat your husband.
And remember that you can always pray for him.
Peace
Posts: 55 | | Registered: Wed 13 Jul 2005 1:13 |
| | | "Re(2):Wife to spouse with possible depression" , Sun 21 Aug 17:00
I agree that SJW is a support site. As for talking to my husband about seeing a doctor, I agree too. I had previously just mentioned it in passing that his isolated behavior followed a pattern. However, neither of us thought that it could be more than just a mood swing. Now that I understand that there could be more to it, I will definitely encourage him to visit someone qualified to help us out. At the time of this writing, he is on week 2 of being "angry" with me for no particular cause. I say this with confidence because our son does not understand why daddy's mad and is not speaking to mom.
Posts: 2 | | Registered: Thu 18 Aug 2005 11:36 |
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