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Topic Title: I'm Lost
Machelle

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"I'm Lost" , Mon 11 Aug 06:38


I have been depressed for quite a while now. I am 20 years old and I need to move on. I have anxiety every single day and it inhibits me from even leaving my house outside of work. I cling to my parents like a child. I want help, I want to change. I'm sick of wishing I was someone else. But I am afraid to take pills. I just don't want to get rid of one problem and then have another. I don't want to be dependant on something to make me happy. I want to feel normal. Does it feel like your on something if you take SJW? I want to help myself but I don't know how.


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steve01

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"Re(1):I'm Lost" , Mon 11 Aug 13:32


I think it's important to see a therapist first. I have been taking Aropax and seeing a therapist and both work really well. Coming off Aropax is not easy but if I have someome who is trained to help I find it easier talking about my anxiety and depression. I used to use Alcohol, but found that things got worse. I am now alcohol free and I am now enjoying a much better life. Go for it. Remember that there are lots of people like you and me who are more than willing to listen.


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Machelle

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"Re(2):I'm Lost" , Tue 12 Aug 05:30


Steve-Thanks for a reply. I feel like I need to say that over and over to everyone who had responded to me. I don't have many close friends because they don't understand sometimes why I have these problems. No one I grew up with ever had anxiety. So why are you trying to come off of Aropax? That is excellent that you are Alcohol free. Congratulations!!:)!! My mom and dad are both alcoholics and they'll probably always be. I hate to see people do that to themselves. I am going to go see a therapist a.s.a.p. I'm just not sure where to go. I've seen one when I was younger and I didn't really give it a chance. I just looked at them as a stranger and couldn't open up. But it's worth another shot at this point!
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steve01

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"Re(3):I'm Lost" , Wed 13 Aug 00:28


Good to see you are getting help Machelle. First of all you must absolutely believe that you are not alone. If this forum helps then keep writing to us, we won't give up on you. You also need to know that you have choice, and sometimes this is all you have. You can choose to get on top of your depression or you can choose to be depressed. I go to a psyco-therapist, as I have found that my depression stemmed from childhood issues that have been with me all my life. A lot of people will tell you to get on with your life and put the past behind you, that is true, however I have found that I needed to confront my past, put it into perspective, accept it, then and only then have I been able to move on. I also have a chemical imbalance (serotonin) that is been treated with Aropax. It is now time for me to come off Aropax, but it is not a good experience, so I am reducing then going on to Prozac, then I will reduce to nothing by about Dec this year. Prozac is easier to get off, but will still assist with the depression whilst I am still undertaking therapy. I have set goals for myself and I am receiving really good medical support, my employer is also aware of my situation and has been fantastic. I feel really humbled by the support and love that I have received. Sometimes opening up is the best thing to do, but choose who you talk to carefully as self disclosure can be damaging in the long run, if you talk to non-qualified people. Good luck, take care.


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Machelle

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"Re(4):I'm Lost" , Wed 13 Aug 05:21


Here I am again at work feeling the same way I do every day. Althought the past few days I have eased into the morning with a little more grace because of all the positive energy I have recieved from this discussion forum. I wish I didn't feel so abnormal though. Every morning I wonder and wonder and wonder-what am I going to be like today. I feel like I stress myself out soooo much. Then at night when I get in bed I am alone with my thoughts-scary!! Sometimes I don't even feel like a human being because all I do is think-think-think! No time to enjoy the present. I wonder- wow, how do people get up every morning and go about their buisness without feeling sad, nervous, scared, or just plain weird? I need to confront some of my past issues and move on from them too. I assume a therapist is going to help me do that because I think about my past everyday. But as far as how to confront it, and move on, I have no idea where to begin. How is everyone else feeling??
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pmar13

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"Re(5):I'm Lost" , Fri 22 Aug 12:12


Hi Machele-
I am happy to hear about the progress. Any progress is good. And remember there is bound to be set-backs, don't let it make you think that you are back where you started because you are not.
I have been doing better and better. I actually have not been so anxious going anywhere. I went to NY and Philly recently for business and everything went great.
I really think the meditation has helped me the most. But everyone may be different. But here is the thing on meditation: Most of what depression, anxiety, panic etc... is is our own thought process which brings is into the sickness. Grant it there are other factors involved but I firmly believe that if you can slow down your mind, observe your thoughts and concentrate on your breathing that it goes a long way.
There is a book I bought called "Meditation as Medicine" by Dharma Singh Khalsa and Cameron Stauth which is really good. Also I bought another book called 7masters- you can check out the web-site www.7masters.com - Has anyone else had success or trials with meditation?
Machelle- Take care and God Bless.. and please continue to let us know how you are doing.
Pete


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pmar13

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"Re(1):I'm Lost" , Mon 11 Aug 09:07


Hello :-)


Medicine may help but I understand your concerns. Maybe you can try natural means for awhile, making sure you give it a chance, and then switch to meds if nec.. SJW and 5-HTP has helped me with my anxiety but that is not all that I do. Here is what I do (in order of importance - as for what I think has helped me the most):

a) meditation and prayer
b) yoga
c) herbal supplements (SJW, 5-HTP, Fish Oil, Folic Acid & Ginseng) sounds like a lot I know but I have not had any side effects. knock on wood.
d) seeing a psychologist <-- this could or should be your first step, unless you are already seeing one.

You may have to find what works for you. I am trying these things and it seems to have helped although I am not completely out of the woods. My major problem is panic/anxiety and it to has kept me housebound for periods. But there is hope! I wish you the best of luck! God Bless.


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Machelle

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"Re(2):I'm Lost" , Mon 11 Aug 09:26


Thank you for your response. Hearing that I am not alone makes me less afraid. Although it saddens me to know so many people struggle with this while others don't even understand it. I do need to talk to a psychologist. Every time I tell someone about my issues they don't even understand what I mean by depression and anxiety. Because they don't know what it feels like. I have started going to church also,and that helps too. I think I will try some of the supplements you suggested. I'm glad you found some relief for yourself too. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.


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GuyJJohnson1

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"Re(3):I'm Lost" , Mon 11 Aug 13:57


You asked if you feel like you're on something when taking SJW.

My experience is absolutely not. I've been taking it for almost 2 months mostly for anxiety symptoms. In the first weeks I noticed no change whatever, if anything my anxiety was worse, but then after about 5 weeks the anxiety was just gone! Of course there are still situations I feel aprehensive about, but I just haven't developed any anxiety or panic feelings when entering them.

I've had no side-effects such as drowsiness or short-term memory loss which are common with benzodiazepines.

Of course, see a professional for advice, but if you decide to take SJW, don't worry about side-effects or feeling strange. In my experience that just doesn't happen.

Hope this helps.

Guy.


Posts: 1 | | Registered: Tue 5 Aug 2003 13:51
 
Machelle

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"Re(4):I'm Lost" , Tue 12 Aug 05:24


Thanks for the input Guy
I was wondering about it so much because after my dad recommended it to me I went right out and bought it. I took one right away around 5pm. and for the rest of the night I felt a little giddy. Just slap happy and tired. I wondered if it had anything to do with it or I was just tired and thinking it was the SJW making me feel that way. I do want to continue to try it though. My dad told me it saved his friends life when he wanted to commit suicide. The only thing I don't like is that I've always worked in the healthcare field and some people I work with have said it causes memory loss in the long run. Leave it to me to analyze every single side of the story before I try it! :) I need to make an appointment to see a therapist. I've seen them when I was younger and I didn't like them, so I hope I can keep an open mind and realize now they are here to help me.
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lowery

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"Re(5):I'm Lost" , Tue 19 Aug 00:27


Machelle, Your issue sounds very similar to my own, so I understand completely what you are going through. My depresson started about 4 1/2 years ago after a car accident. I tried going on with my life as normal after that, but nohting was ever the same. My mind always races and I often wonder the same things that you do about the way that everyone else in th eworld puts on their smiles and walks out the door with such confidence everyday. Sometimes I think that I am all alone in the way that I feel. Anyway I guess that I wanted to let you know that you are not the only one that feels this way, I mean I'm only 22 years old and I feel a lot older than that. I just recently started taking SJW because I was scared of taking perscription drugs too. A lot of my friends say that your mind can heal itself and that there is no need to take anything, but I finally realized that I needed to do something other than TRY to think my problems out. After reading all the post on this website I feel alot better about deciding to take this route. I hope that everything works out for you, and I hope you find what helps you feel better.


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Machelle

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"Re(6):I'm Lost" , Tue 19 Aug 05:31


Hey Lowery, thanks for your reply. I have felt a little better each time I come here and read from everyone. It really truly helps to have people like you who care. It is so hard to believe that life can be this way for people so young. My parents are always telling me to get my act together I'm too young. And what I am I going to do when life really gets tough. I don't know the answers to those questions. I just hope for the best. I know there was I time when I was younger that I didn't carry all this weight on my shoulders, and I hope to find that part of me again. I think through counseling and medicine I can do it. Although there are always those days when it seems so impossible to be normal. I got into a car accident about 5 months ago and my life has really changed from it. Sometimes when I'm driving and I have to stop really quickly I can almost feel that impact of the crash all over again in my head. It is scary. I also used to go out at night a lot and now I don't like to drive at night or even if I'm the least bit tired. I avoid a lot of situations to tell the truth. I used to love to go out and dance. But now I worry that if I go out and dance and I start to feel anxiety around a bunch of people I don't know, then I'll freak out. Of course I don't really know what would happen because I haven't given myself a chance at it. Well enought about me, tell me more about you.


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lowery

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"Re(7):I'm Lost" , Sat 23 Aug 16:27


Machelle,
It's good to hear that you are doing better everyday, and like you said there are good days and there are bad days. Sometimes it feels like the bad days are never going to go away, but eventually I know they will. I totally understand what you said about not going out as much anymore, I am the same way. I used to go out with all my friends all the time, and now I don't have the desire to, and honestly I am kind of intimidated by going out. I don't know why I feel that way but I do. Hopefully soon things will get better. I'm sorry to hear about your accident, mine was at night too, and whenever someone passes some one coming towards me I get totally sketched out, and it has been 4 years since my accident. School is starting back up again and i think that it will help to occupie my time. Hopefully, day by day, things will get better for us all.


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steve01

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"Re(6):I'm Lost" , Tue 19 Aug 03:52


I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after returning from Peacekeeping in Yugoslavia in 1997. The Dr described what I had been through as as very similar to a major car accident (in terms of the damage done). After years of depression and alcoholism, I have learned to talk about my issues and I feel heaps better. Don't underestimate the level of damage that can occur to your mind after an stressful incident. Drugs help, but you must not kid yourself that they will alone cure you. You need to communicate with a trained professional. Take Care.


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