Topic Title: What exactly is "anxiety"??
| |  "What exactly is "anxiety"??"
, Sat 26 Apr 21:36
I keep reading about "anxiety". I had a b/f a while back who used to tell me about his "anxiety" and he had panic attacks as well. I never really understood the attacks, but the anxiety, I'm not sure of.
I've never considered myself to have anxiety, but then I stop and think and read... So diagnose me, if you will ;-)
I appear on the outside to be very happy and friendly. I am happy and friendly, talkitive and all that when I'm interested in the topic. I won't talk to people I don't know, for no particular reason (grocery store lines) other than the fact that I just don't want to chit chat.
In general, I'm EXTREMELY impatient! "People" annoy me. My middle name should be "road rage". I find it extremely difficult to deal with anyone who lacks common sence, can't make a decision or just looks at me wrong. I don't like to wait, or find out later about anything. I need instant gratification.
So, is that "anxiety" everytime I get on the freeway or stand in a grocery store line? Or when someone says, "I bought you this fabulous gift", and I have to WAIT to see what it is?? I don't want to know about birthday or Christmas gifts...it ruins it for me.
I'm wondering because, I've had no road rage for 3 days now! I realized it the first morning I took the Rhodiola. I didn't realize right away, just thought about it later, the fact that I didn't swear or gesture anyone that morning. Feedback, anyone, anyone? Thanks, Jules ;-)
Posts: 34 | | Registered: Tue 8 Apr 2003 19:7 |
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| | "Re(1):What exactly is" , Sun 27 Apr 05:26:
Irritability can be a symptom of anxiety. This website gives a good description of anxiety and a test that you can take.
http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis1/p21-an07.html
MJ DuPont
[this message was edited by Dupont on Sun 27 Apr 05:28]
Posts: 522 | | Registered: Wed 20 Jun 2001 6:19 |
| | | "Re(2):What exactly is" , Sun 27 Apr 20:14
Thanks! I didn't pay for the online consult because from what I read, I don't think I have anxiety now. I just dislike most people ;-) I'll work on that...Jules
Posts: 38 | | Registered: Tue 8 Apr 2003 19:7 |
| | "Different Types" , Sat 26 Apr 23:54
Well, there are different types of anxiety. Social Anxiety is different than a general anxiety disorder.
With social anxiety, its not like you feel pissed off (like in road rage) or impatient, its more you feel like people are looking at you in a negative way. Its hard to describe. But you have this uncomfortable fear around people. And its not always everyone, or in every single situation, but it still lingers.
I dont' get impatient or have road rage. But I think thats definitely good that you don't have that anymore. Thats no way to be! I really don't like people that have road rage. I'm really sensitive to things, and when I get honked at or see someone honking or giving someone a bad stare, it hurts me. It makes me anxious in a social way. I know I'm overly sensitive to it, but still.
Do you think you have depression? The way you describe yourself, high energy and stuff, it doesn't sound like it. What ails you?
Posts: 8 | | Registered: Tue 22 Apr 2003 14:19 |
| | | "Re(1):Different Types" , Sun 27 Apr 20:49
Hey,
I think I know what you mean about the "people looking at you" thing. I'm an off and on anorexic for the last 25 or so years. I'm not TOO skinny though. For some reason I need to remain thin, like THAT makes a difference in my life!! But, I can't buy snack foods or bad food in general, because I think people are analyzing my grocery cart. Is that what you mean? Or the way I hide how many raw sugars I'm actually putting in my coffee, in public. I know deep down that people don't care what I'm doing. I get it though. I think it's an ED thing, not an anxiety thing. And the fact that I recognize it when it's happening and tell myself I'm stupid, get's me through it.
Let me explain my road rage. Don't want you to think I'm one of those....And, I think this is what depresses me the most. It's people in general. It's the lack of consideration. It's not so much that someone goes out of their way to NOT let me merge, but as soon as I hit the brakes, finally get over...that person that was just SO adamant about not letting me in, just traded places with me! Like it would have been SO difficult to be nice! About once a week, I wave a little thank you to someone and they flip me off. But it's not just that, it's people who get off the escalator and just stop to have a conversation, meanwhile there's a pile up and somebody's going to get hurt. Or, trying to walk anywhere and no one seems to have peripheral vision anymore. People don't move out of the way unless you say "excuse me" 8 times.
It seems that people have just become so calloused and then I think "this is a good as it's ever going to get". And then, throw in the fact that I work 14 hours a day. I have a small business. I feel like the little worker bee stuck in ground hogs day. I'm living the American Dream! By most peoples standards, I have it all. House, biz, successful...what more? Then I think, "This is it?" I've worked so hard and what else is there? Somethings missing and I don't know what it is. This is what ails me. I'm not happy. My mom told me last year that I haven't been happy since I was 3, and I believe her. This "people" thing has been going on as long as I can remember. It could just be my ADD and being ultra sensitive. It could be the moon and the stars. I just want to be happy....
So how's your Rhodiola working? I was GREAT today!
My best, Jules ;-)
Posts: 39 | | Registered: Tue 8 Apr 2003 19:7 |
| | | "Re(2):Different Types" , Fri 2 May 18:10
Jules,
I can really relate to a couple of things you said there. When I go to the supermarket, I invariably buy a whole bunch of junk food. But I always feel guilty when I get to the checkout! I start grouping the items in ways that make it look like I bought less crap, or that makes it look like "Here's the good stuff, and here's dessert". Crazy. The funny thing is I hardly look at anyone else's purchases and when I do see someone with loads of crap in their trolley, I just think, "Hooray, I'm not the only person in the world who buys crap".
The road-rage/people thing is right up my alley. I didn't twig to it at first, but when you mentioned the whole "inconsiderate" thing ... wow! We have signs on our two-lane freeways: "Keep left unless overtaking". The number of people that won't give you that courtesy, sheesh. The same used to apply to people walking in shopping centres, taking a long time to key in their transaction at the cash machine, hogging the bank clerk's time, and about a million other trangressions in which I was right and they were oh-so-wrong.
I used to get really consumed by that sort of thing. I'm still a bit of a road-rager but I've got a sense of humour about it these days. Driving is catharsis for me. As the old expression says, "You haven't really learned to swear until you learn to drive"  It's both annoying and a curious statistical anomaly that 100% of the slow, unconfident drivers in my suburb are Chinese.
I think I've mellowed out these days. That might just have come with age (I'm 36 now), or maybe I have transformed myself into a tree-hugging citizen of the world. I don't know. I think at some level I recognised that my anger at others was an outward manifestation of the anger I felt towards myself, and ultimately, anger is a red flag for depression. When I started working on the depression, the outward anger toned down.
I heard Barbara Feldman on the radio recently (you might remember her, she played "99" in Get Smart). She is not married anymore and she had to deal with loneliness. Her therapist encouraged her to find meaning in the dozens of casual encounters she had with people each day, rather than thinking of these people as stick figures. It's funny how that concept resonated with me. I find myself much more connected with people again. The only people I am having trouble connecting with is Chinese drivers. Oh, and Chinese people who man technical support lines. There, I said it. Now the thought police can come and arrest me and I don't care.
Epyx
Posts: 545 | | Registered: Mon 3 Dec 2001 22:11 |
| | | "Re(2):Different Types" , Mon 28 Apr 21:10
Jules,
It does sound like you have a lot of energy. You'd need it to be able to work 14 hours a day running your own business, right? But I don't think that means you can't be depressed. It's a different kind of depression to what I have, but there are a lot of similarities as well. Some people, myself included, find that depression robs them of energy and motivation. Others can be outwardly very energetic, hard working, successful, etc. but still find that happiness eludes them. Sometimes they overwork to try to mask their depression. I don't know if that sounds like you, but it might be worth thinking about.
Like I said, there are similarities between the two types as well. I can relate to that "Is this it?" feeling. When I'm depressed I've usually got no reason to be unhappy, but I am anyway. It is like there's something missing, and before I recognised this feeling as depression I used to have all these theories about what it might be - maybe it's because my job isn't interesting enough, or because I don't have enough money, or because I don't have a girlfriend, or... and so on. But none of those things would have made me happy because the problem has always been an internal one - a chemical imbalance in my brain. My mum once told me exactly the same thing as your mum told you - that I seemed to become much less happy when I was around 3. That tells me something chemical was going on because I was too young to be worrying about my job or girls or anything like that .
I also understand this problem you have with "people". I don't know whether depression causes this oversensitivity, or whether the oversensitivity is one of the causes of depression, but I often feel like the world is very uncaring place, full of inconsiderate people. I see it at every point in the scale - from the kind of everyday inconsiderate behaviour you talk about, right up to the way big corporations and governments don't seem to care about people. It makes me angry, though I don't usually show it, and it depresses me as well. I don't understand how some people seem able to just shrug it off.
I'm sure there was a point to all this rambling... I suppose I find it reassuring to have realised (through this forum) that I'm not alone in having these feelings. I always used to think that I was different from other people, and that scared me a bit.
Sounds like Rhodiola is working well for you. I was interested in giving it a try a while back, but I think I'll stick to SJW for now - it's worked well the past five months.
Take care,
Dan
Posts: 165 | | Registered: Sat 14 Dec 2002 17:8 |
| | | "Re(3):Different Types" , Mon 28 Apr 23:12
Thank You Dan!
I thought maybe I was crazy. My freinds think I am. You're the first person to understand my "people" thing. Everyone says, "Let it go, already!" I can't.
I have a ton of energy, but it's not necessarily productive energy. I work all those hours because I have to, not because I want to. I used to work to "tune out", but I can't get back into that mind set. I liked that!
You are different! I am too. I don't think there are many of us. Add that to "depressing"! I just want the world to be happy and my white picket fence isn't doing it for me....oh well.
My Best, thanks for making me smile!
Jules ;-)
Posts: 44 | | Registered: Tue 8 Apr 2003 19:7 |
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