Topic Title: st. john's wort
| |  "st. john's wort"
, Wed 23 Apr 14:11
My mom mentioned to me that I should try using St.John's Wort. I have been feeling a sense of depression for a long time, probably almost a year now. It all started off with my relationship of a year starting going downhill. We tried to keep the relationship going building from our mistakes and doing things differently. Well within three weeks he's been lying to me and I have known about this new relationship he's trying to build but I really didn't think it would be successful. But now he tells me that he is in love with her. I can't believe he would do this to me and all I really want to know is why me??? Well any advice, support, or other personal stories that are similar are welcome. I feel that I need support to get through this time in my life, b/c right now I feel bad and nothing but pain. I don't know why you would do this to me. Thanks for your time and support.
Posts: 0 | | Registered: Wed 23 Apr 2003 13:59 |
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| |  "Re(1):st. john's wort"
, Wed 23 Apr 20:50
I understand completely!! But, it's not meant to be. This is where you have to be realistic. You don't want someone like that in your life. Wish him luck and DON'T call him!
For me, I've found that when I'm in a "committed, monogamous, moving forward relationship" (my mantra), I'm not depressed!! Go figure. I'm not in one of those right now and have no hopeful prospects, don't get me going ;-) I don't necessarily feel that you pour everything into a relationship. I know I don't. Some of us just like to be in one, for whatever reason. I'm happy and content/balanced when I know I have another half that loves me.
Take the SJW. I've noticed that it somewhat takes my mind off the phone that's NOT ringing (or the call that caller id wants me to take).
I don't know how old you are, but I can't say enough about journaling. I do quick entries on a daily basis. It's fun to go back in time and see what you were feeling way back when...or how your intuition panned out or how far you've come. It's enlightening, healing and will really make you feel better.
My best to you, Jules ;-)
Posts: 26 | | Registered: Tue 8 Apr 2003 19:7 |
| | |  "Re(2):st. john's wort"
, Thu 24 Apr 10:01:
Thanks Jewels, you made me smile when I read the part "wish him luck and DON'T call him." He wanted to know why was I wishing him luck, that is how ignorant he can be sometimes. I never really owned up to my true feelings though, until now because he is the kind of guy my parents wouldn't want me to spend the rest of my life with, and that is something I do understand. I am really talking as if I am 30 years old or something. I am only 18, will be 19 soon. In college trying to begin my life. This ex of mine imortant place in my heart but now that he has really hurt me, leaving and starting a new relationship, I know that it will hurt me even more to try and be his friend. I know I should have gotten over him a long time ago, we have been separated for about 7 months, just trying to work things out. While I was being considerate and gave him space to think about us, he decided to do this. I know I can do so much better. And it's not me calling, b/c I have tried for so long to let him go, the thing is he calls and I answer that is where I mess up. Thanks ago for your advice and support. This is my second day taking the pill, I don't think I've felt a difference yet, but I know I have a lot more energy which keeps me moving and not worrying about him. Talk to you again soon.
Jennifer
[this message was edited by jgrillier on Thu 24 Apr 10:11]
Posts: 3 | | Registered: Wed 23 Apr 2003 13:59 |
| | | "Re(3):st. john's wort" , Thu 24 Apr 20:07
Oh Jen, you're as bad as me! You try to be "friends" and you get even MORE depressed about it, right?? Because he should see that you're fabulous! My last b/f still calls me too. I like the attention, but he has a new g/f and I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate it. Think about it. He needs space, you give it to him, he finds a new fling and still calls you? The beat goes on. Don't you sort'a feel sorry for the new girl? He's the one with issues and you're lucky it's over. Ya know, the day will come when you can't even remember "what's his name's" name. You'll look back and smile ;-) These are all learning experiences and you'll have many more. This isn't it!
About "being friends"?? That just means that if you see each other in public, you're friendly. I don't see a reason to continue a "friendly relationship" unless you're older, been married or there are kids involved.
Thanks Jen, you're post make me realize that my latest needs to go away. I saw a little of me in you.
Glad you're not calling! That made me smile...my best,
Jules ;-)
Posts: 30 | | Registered: Tue 8 Apr 2003 19:7 |
| | | "Re(4):st. john's wort" , Fri 25 Apr 11:50
You're really helping me a lot. Communicating with you and being able to share my feelings toward this situation, I think this will help me to move on easier. I have been thinking about him lately, and I was having a moment yesterday, where I started crying and couldn't stop, eventually I did though. I almost called him. But I didn't give in :) I find myself thinking about him and her. What does he see in her? Why did he chose her over me? I wonder if they're doing things he and I did together. I realize that I need to get on with my life, I am seriously wasting my time worrying about what he is doing with her. I have noticed that she and I are totally opposites, I was a lady and she is more guyish (that is what I have been told) I don't understand. I pray a lot more now for direction, to lead my life the right way and for me to move on. It's sad to say but I truely feel like there isn't anyone else out there for me. I have a question. His birthday is on sunday april 27, should I call him to wish him a happy birthday and that's all. I don't want to have any conversation right now with him. If he was to try and talk I would tell him that I have something to do and I have to go. Well I would love to hear your opinion about that. You and I are similar in this way. I would love the attention from him, I haven't spoke to him since that night, and I know it won't be long until he tries to give me a call just to see how I am doing, that is what he says. Thanks for understanding.
Jenn
Posts: 3 | | Registered: Wed 23 Apr 2003 13:59 |
| | | "Re(5):st. john's wort" , Sat 26 Apr 22:22
Jenn!!!
Do NOT call him for his birthday. (and do you really care?? I hope he doesn't have a happy day!) He's got a new girl. You're out of the picture. And, think again about it. He found her when he was still with you. Now he's with her and still calling you. Would it be any different if he dumped her and got back with you?? No, he'd still be on the prowl. I hate men...okay, not all of them ;-)
What does she have that you don't? Something that he needed at the time or still needs. Hey, maybe she's not even doin' it for him and that's why he still calls you. I think he's just a player and keeping all of his options open. You DON'T need that in your life!
I always say, "There's nothing like a new one to get you over the old one". If you had a new guy that you were interested in, you'd say, "What's his name, Who??" I'm not saying to jump into a new relationship, just flirt a little. Make eye contact and smile at someone new. You're done with what's his name. You have to get over it. Cry, whatever it takes. Then move him out of your valuable brain space. He's not worth the energy. But, I can tell you from lots and lots of experience. As long as he's still calling you, he's still going to be in the forefront of your thoughts. Only you can decide what you want to do at this point.
Sweetie, you have your entire life ahead of you! You'll be one person in your 20's, an entirely different person in your 30's and by the time you're 40, you'll know who "you" are. It's funny because when it rains it pours, you won't be able to book all of your dates, then the drought comes and no one's interested. Your prince is out there and he's looking for you too. If you're sad and depressed, he may see that and not approach you. Put on your happy face!
Keep me posted on the man hunt! Jules ;-)
Posts: 36 | | Registered: Tue 8 Apr 2003 19:7 |
| | | "Re(6):st. john's wort" , Sun 27 Apr 14:37
Thanks so much for letting me know I can do it and don't need him. The day isn't over yet and I haven't called. I am very confident that I won't. I maybe wondering what he's doing and everything else but I can't take away my whole day worrying about him. I am hoping I meet someone new soon. There are a few guys out there, but I'm sure they're not exactly what I want so I continue to keep them as friends. It's almost been a week since this happened and I'm doing pretty good, through the support of friends and being able to meet you. Thanks so much. I am going on a vacation this weekend to Atlanta and hopefully I will meet someone new :) You've inspired me a lot to keep my head up and don't let him (Brandon) bring me down. I said that I didn't want to hurt him anymore than he's hurt me already, I'm sure he's expecting my call but it will only hurt him more that I didn't call. About him calling he hasn't called me since that tuesday night, but that was the last time. I know he will call one day eventually but my number will be changed by then and there will be no source of contact. It's hard but I am getting through. Thanks alot,
Jennifer
Posts: 4 | | Registered: Wed 23 Apr 2003 13:59 |
| | | "Re(7):st. john's wort" , Sun 27 Apr 21:17
Good Girl!
Okay, next question...why do you have guys as "friends" that you keep around? ...for whatever reason?? Obviously you have something in common with these guys or they wouldn't be your friends. I WISH someone would have told me this when I was your age. Sex and physical attraction are not love. Friendship and love and mutual attaction is something that lasts forever. All of my old guy friends are happily married now. We don't even keep in touch anymore. Hmmm...something to think about.
Everytime I get an oil change, I have to wait. They play classical music and have books to read. I read a little bit of "A Road Less Traveled" every 3 months. I think the book I get to read is more fun, because it was previously owned by a guy...the hilighted parts are what interest me the most.
Have a muy FUN vacation! Jules ;-)
Posts: 41 | | Registered: Tue 8 Apr 2003 19:7 |
| | "Re(1):st. john's wort" , Wed 23 Apr 18:35
Hey,
I am sorry you are in so much pain. Somthing I would suggest would be not to put so much energy into a relationship like that so as when it doesn't work out you lose everything. That can be a really dangerous game and if this other person was working on another relationship it wasn't worth letting it go on anyway. I hope you start feeling better soon. I suggest spending time on a productive hobby or activity so has to revert your focus from this past relationship.
Posts: 11 | | Registered: Sun 13 Apr 2003 1:44 |
| | | "Re(2):st. john's wort" , Thu 24 Apr 10:08
Thanks for the support. This is the second day after he brought this to my attention that he had someone else. I am able to go on about my everyday life but sometimes I find myslef thinking about him and why would he do this to me. I think about the good times we had and all the things we did together. I can't imagine him doing that with someone else. It hurts really bad. He wants his to stay friends, but I don't think it will work out. I believe these feelings that we have no would have to be totally gone in order for us to be friends. I feel somewhat hopeless and like there isn't anyone else out there for me, but I need to stop feeling so down about myself and go on with my life. I have a little more energy since I started taking the SJW, but I seem to still think about him. I know I will get through this. Thanks again.
Posts: 2 | | Registered: Wed 23 Apr 2003 13:59 |
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