Topic Title: help, is this depression? =(
| |  "help, is this depression? =("
, Tue 22 Apr 19:13
I've never been a very stable person, but lately things have been getting even worse. I'll just name a few of my symptoms, and maybe you could give me an idea of what I might be wrong. I'm 17 years old and female by the way.
I've been having really irrational, uncontrollable thoughts. For example, I am jealous over my boyfriend's ex who he broke up with almost a year ago, and neither of them can even like each other now. I can't stop no matter how much I try. =( I am happy with how I look in the mirror, but at the same time I have a low self esteem and I'm always comparing myself to other people.
I've been really lazy about school this semester. I used to be a good student, but lately I don't seem to care about studying at all.
I go through mood swings. Sometimes my heart will start beating rapidly and I feel nervous. Then sometimes I feel really down and can't figure out why. Other times I am completely happy, but even then I feel like it won't last because things always go wrong.
Depression runs in my family, and everyone in my dad's family has it, so I think this is serious. I just don't know what to do! =(
Also, if anyone needs to talk or wants to give me advice, my AIM s/n is funnybunny8585
Posts: 0 | | Registered: Tue 22 Apr 2003 18:58 |
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| |  "Re(1):help, is this depression? =("
, Tue 22 Apr 21:03
Hi, I haven't been "officially" diagnosed with depression, just A.D.D. Both run in my family. I suspect my doc would agree with me and tell me what I want to hear. So...here's my 40 years of wisdom ;-)
"I've never been a very stable person, but lately things have been getting even worse."
I don't know what "stable" means. It's probably something different for everyone. I've done a lot with my life, I'm single and by most standards, I've got it all together. By my standards, it's not enough. Maybe you expect too much of yourself?
"I've been having really irrational, uncontrollable thoughts. For example, I am jealous over my boyfriend's ex who he broke up with almost a year ago, and neither of them can even like each other now. I can't stop no matter how much I try."
If they can't even speak to each other, then who cares? I suspect there's more to it or you wouldn't be concerned.
"I am happy with how I look in the mirror, but at the same time I have a low self esteem and I'm always comparing myself to other people."
You're a chic, like me...most of us compare. I'm guessing you have a little "perfectionism" in you. I do, that's me, that's just how I am. I think it takes a long time to realize that being pretty, skinny, brilliant, whatever...doesn't mean a whole lot if you don't like yourself. You have to realize that you're "you", unique and like no one else. You have a LOT of years ahead of you...why don't you start journaling this? In a year you'll look back and see changes.
"I've been really lazy about school this semester. I used to be a good student, but lately I don't seem to care about studying at all."
You're 17, I'm a guessing a Senior in High School? Maybe you're just bored and need a new experience, new scenery. Just get through it, do your best. The day will come when you can't believe how trivial High School was!
"I go through mood swings. Sometimes my heart will start beating rapidly and I feel nervous. Then sometimes I feel really down and can't figure out why. Other times I am completely happy, but even then I feel like it won't last because things always go wrong."
I do this, but I always know why. My picture perfect life isn't working the way I want it too. I get upset VERY easily. I'm extremely impatient. Do you just let "things" go wrong or do you make it work in your favor? Every experience is a learning experience. People always tell me "I land on my feet". Nothing ever goes the way I plan it. I'm wondering what sorts of things you're referring too...
"Depression runs in my family, and everyone in my dad's family has it, so I think this is serious. I just don't know what to do!"
Just because everyone in your family is depressed, doesn't mean you have to be as well. My brother is bipolar, but I really think that's from a serious head injury. I think my "depression" has a LOT to do with my ADD, my perfectionist attitude or my sun sign. Who knows?
You're so young and I hate to see you dealing with this right now. Have you talked to your parents or a doctor? I sincerely wish you the best! Be strong, look in the mirror and be happy!! Jewels ;-)
Posts: 24 | | Registered: Tue 8 Apr 2003 19:7 |
| | | "Thanks" , Tue 22 Apr 22:03
Thanks for the long response Jewels! That was really sweet of you. Actually tonight (after I posted that) I had a really long talk with my parents, and I think we figured out a good plan. I quit working a few months ago, so I'm going to find a new job this week. Then I'm going to try being outdoors more (because my dad thinks sunlight is really important), and I'm going to try doing the St. John's Wort after doing some more research. My mom is also going to set up a doctor's appointment and they'll be able to see if I'm okay or not, or if anything is serious enough to need drugs. The more things I do to get my life on track, the better.
About the boyfriend thing, there honestly is nothing going on with them. He and his ex literally despise each other, and he makes me feel sooo special. That's why I almost feel "crazy" sometimes, because I have something so good and I am sabatoging it. I'm just lucky he's so understanding, because my thoughts are so irrational.
I graduated HS a year early so I'm in community college right now, which is definately an improvement. You're right about high school being trivial! Those were pretty much the worst years of my life, but at least I'm out of there now. =)
I honestly believe I'm depressed, and I'm not just overreacting. I've taken a lot of depression diagnosises on the internet (which I know aren't medical, but they can be helpful) and I've always gotten moderate to severely depressed. I have a feeling things will improve with my plan though. Thanks again Jewels!
Posts: 1 | | Registered: Tue 22 Apr 2003 18:58 |
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