Topic Title: My ongoing tribulations with depression
| |  "My ongoing tribulations with depression"
, Wed 11 Jun 13:01:
Hello everyone,
First and foremost, I would like to introduce myself to all of you. My name is Brian, I am 20 years old, and have suffered with depression for a considerable time in my life. I have encountered many who have assumed that at the age of 20, you are virtually worry free, and any evidence of depression is merely a systematic and generic aspect of the lives of one so young. I can tell you first hand that depression is a severe and traumatic experience, and anyone, no matter the age, can clearly testify the same if they have personally felt the brunt of the disease.
My depression began when I young. I find it difficult to remember a time when I was actually worry free, and cared little about what life threw at me. Despite my inability to recollect such a time, I do know that it existed, at one point in my life. This fact is the main reason that I search for a gate to those glorious days when life actually felt livable. I have seen many doctors in the past, many of whom prescribed me with various prescription drugs that have done nothing to alleviate the problem, and nothing to douse the fire that seems to bring pain and frustration with every single minute that conscious thought is applicable. While the effects of the drugs (namely, paxil), were surpassingly clear, they were neither beneficial nor helpful. I honestly felt that the consequences of the pills created adverse side affects, that only led to deeper levels of anguish. That experience is the basis of the logic behind my decision to try out the natural herbal remedy SJW.
While I have been taking the SJW for about 4 days now, I will refrain from providing a description of it's exact effects, up to this point. I will rather save that for a later date, in order to provide you with an accurate explanation of how the SJW has affected me. I will certainly continue to post, hopefully in order to both log my experience, and provide the members of this forum with a accurate representation of the effects of SJW on someone undergoing depression. If you have taken the time to ready my message, then I thank you. I have read many of the posts within this forum, and feel a sense of unison within the members who dedicate themselves to the process of helping people further understand SJW. While I have yet to determine if the herb is right for me, it is clear that it is right for a lot of people, and has done wonders for their lives. I will give this a try, and like everyday, I will wish for the best.
Brian
[this message was edited by Occam on Wed 11 Jun 15:18]
Posts: 1 | | Registered: Wed 11 Jun 2003 12:25 |
| Replies:
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| | "Re(1):My ongoing tribulations with depression" , Sat 31 Jul 19:17
Occam
I can totally relate to you. My family
tells me that Im living the best
years of my life and that makes
me kinda dread the future. Im 22 and I
seriously can not remember ever being a
happy person. Thats why Im taking SJW.
Your not the only young person depressed.
There are plenty of people like us.
Hang in there Im sure you'll find something
that works for you. SJW can alleviate
depression, so hang in there.
yella
Posts: 33 | | Registered: Sat 10 Apr 2004 22:59 |
| | "Re(1):My ongoing tribulations with depression" , Thu 31 Jul 01:34
Hi Brian,
Your situation sounds very familiar to me. I am having a depression for most of my life like you .I can not remember the last time that i was feeling good and happy. can't seem to enjoy myself even when i try very hard. Been seeing psy for a year now no or little result taking swj for a year also no or little result also. I am 34 now hoping that it will beter some day
Psy asked me several times to try and take antidepressants but i am very relucatant to take them as i am not sure it will help.
Hope you have better luck
Posts: 1 | | Registered: Mon 5 Aug 2002 6:39 |
| | "Re(1):My ongoing tribulations with depression" , Sun 20 Jul 04:57
Hey Brian,
I wanted to reply to your post because we are almost the same age. My name is Ruban. I'm 23. And BOY, does your post sound familiar to me! I'm going to share my experience with you.
Sorry in advance for the long post, everyone! :-)
I've run into SO many people who say, "You're 23! Relax and enjoy yourself! You should be having the time of your life!" And you know what? They're right! BUT... It's impossible for me to "have the time of my life" right now (and has been for 5 years) because I am physically incapable of enjoying things.
I used to thrill-seek to give me an endorphin high so that I could "feel" again. I used to get my car going at 80-90kph and then pull the handbrake to get the car to spin out of control. I would get such an emotional high, and for a few days, I'd feel "normal."
I also used to go to all-night raves and dance from 5-9 hours straight until my mind entered a (drug-free) calm, focussed, trance-like state.
I spent money like water to try and bring myself happiness. I had to declare bankruptcy last month as a result.
I slept with SO many men. Again, every time I did, I would feel *something*. But then I started to lose the ability to feel something when I was with a man I really cared for.
My depression/anxiety has caused me so much trouble. Only now am I piecing together the disasters it has caused over the past five years.
Brian, I consider myself an intelligent person. I can work with computers on an extremely intuitive level. I have a knack for fixing almost anything mechanical. Hell, I even think I'm a good-looking guy (at least when I feel closer to normal). :)
This thing we call "depression/anxiety" has prevented me from using all the potential I have. Depression is a bitch. It's like my mind has a leak where it stores its positive energy.
So far, SJW has been slowly helping me remember how good life can be. Yesterday was difficult because I had a terrible episode of anxiety. I was exhausted by last night, but I had a commitment to volunteer at my city's Jazz Festival. While I was there, I was almost moved to tears because I was *feeling* the music. It's been a long time since I've felt music.
I don't know who you are, Brian, but I think you are full of potential as well and you have a lot of talents. Your post tells me that you are very intelligent and are probably a very intuitive person as well.
I hope you soon find your own well of inner peace and happiness. When you do, the world should brace itself. ;-)
HuGgLeS,
Ruban
Posts: 10 | | Registered: Wed 25 Jun 2003 19:8 |
| | "Re(1):My ongoing tribulations with depression" , Wed 18 Jun 18:11
Hi Brian -
I've had mild depression most of my life as well (I'm twice your age). It was really kicked in after an extremely long bout with mono (6 months) though there were signs of it lurking in the background after thinking back. The initial phase was a very tough time in my life. I remembered how it felt to be "normal" but for some reason my body was very far from it. I was medicated for a few months and as you say I really felt it made it worse. Hard to say. Anyway I spent a decade fighting it without any help. I was and still am throughly convinced perscription drugs should be avoided at all costs unless you are to the point where you can not function. I was able to work through it on my own and did not have to deal with the side affects and after affects that you inevitably experience. So, that was a good thing. I was certainly not 100% "normal" but it was bearable. Then I heard about SJW and have used it for nearly 5 years. For me, it has been a God sent. I think it works well on those with mild depression. There are side affects (regardless what others say sometimes) but once you find the proper balance between dosage, timing, exercise, stress reduction, etc. its fantastic. SJW may or may not be for you but its certainly worth trying. Don't expect major changes overnight, rather its a longterm adjustment your body makes. Good luck and hang in there. I'm proof that things can get better...
Posts: 10 | | Registered: Wed 5 Mar 2003 20:11 |
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