Topic Title: you might need a few minutes to read this
| |  "you might need a few minutes to read this"
, Thu 5 Dec 20:52
I've always known that something wasn't quite right upstairs, I had unhappy thoughts as a kid (didn't have the greatest childhood and having split parents, mother who didn't understand etc..),it was difficult growing up and not the easiest in relationships either. I'm 21, been on sjw for about 1 month, and I FEEL GREAT!!! it feels like now, everyday is a good day. before, i would have the occasional good day, but i new on those odd days, that the person who would come out was the "real me". Make any sense? anyhow, i have a gorgeous 11 1/2 month old daughter, when i was pregnant, everything balanced out, and i thought that i was "normal" again, then, about a month or two before i started taking sjw, it got to the point that i felt like i was almost hovering above my body, i felt so disconnected, i couldn't sleep, but when i did, it was never enough, i couldn't go out in public because i couldn't carry conversation, i felt dead, irritable, TIRED, i could barely stand in the shower in the morning, any little task overwhelmed me. now, i sleep great, get up early, have a good day, get things done, get out and see people, i'm a better mom-girlfriend...but, my significant other, i think he suffers from a somewhat severe depression, mine was mild-moderate.(misery loves company) It is very difficult because i see the things i was (as long as i'm on sjw of course). I want to help him but you can't help someone who doesn't admit or think that anything is wrong. I don't know what to do, he works out of town all week, sometimes I don't see him for month or more. I know he has a lot on his plate, but i've spoke with some of his family about it and apparently it has been an ongoing thing for years. (he is 38) He'll be fine, then mooooooddddyyy!!! like don't get in his space. but you are supposed to read his mind and know what to say and when, one time you can say this, but you can say the same thing again later -watch out-, because his mood has changed. he'll ignore friends, won't go out, then want to know why no one calls and then be sociable. he has quite a bit of emotional baggage, his mom was an alcoholic, but sober for 20 years now, wonderful woman, parents split, dad took off with another woman. yet his mother is the bad guy!!! Much more to the story but i'm getting way off target. (he WILL NOT see a counsellor together or alone) if anyone has any help in this department at all, or words of encouragement, advice, please do.
Posts: 2 | | Registered: Tue 3 Dec 2002 20:36 |
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| | "Re(1):you might need a few minutes to read th" , Mon 16 Dec 06:38
It's not possible to carry someone elses emotional and mental baggage. It's hard enough to take care of ones own. It's good that the St. John's Wort is helping you. Your companion has many problems and you can't remake him into something better. He is who he is, and it's not likely that he will become Mr. Perfect. It would require an enormous effort on his part to get rid of his many chains holding him back. I expect that you will have to put your main effort into your own mental well being, and only be able to assist him when he's willing to make the effort, and he may never be ready. You might get some reading material about dealing with mental problems and put it around where he can see them. He might make some use of this, but i doubt you can talk him into it. He has to be ready to help himself. Only then will you be able to help and support his effort at self healing. In the mean time take care of your own mental health, and good luck.
James
Posts: 54 | | Registered: Tue 5 Nov 2002 7:3 |
| | |  "Re(2):you might need a few minutes to read th"
, Tue 17 Dec 20:59
Thank you so much for words of inspiration. I know I have to help myself first, and I can't change anyone. It's difficult sometimes with him because he has been hurt so much in the past that he has difficulty trusting me, and has a hard time opening up all the way, although he has somewhat, which is good. His mom has already tried giving him some self help books, and I don't think it has done too much for him. Although he did admit to having a problem 10+ yrs ago to his mother, he just doesn't (as I call it) have the "tools in his tool belt" to help himself. But I think he knows I am here for him no matter what.
Thanks J
Posts: 3 | | Registered: Tue 3 Dec 2002 20:36 |
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