going crazy - http://www.sjwinfo.org Forums
Topic Title: going crazy
| |  "going crazy"
, Tue 8 Oct 15:48
i think may be this will help- finding other ppl with similar problem. i began as a middle child, fiercely independant and a perfectionist. i have been having psychiatric problems since i was 13. my first suicide attempt was when i was 14. then i was in and out for till now. some docs said i was bipolar. the others thinks that im depressed. then there are some that believe im a big hypocondriac. i dont know what i am. this past winter, i had another encounter with depression, landed me in suicide watch for 3 weeks. since then, i have taken many medications, and found none of them worked for me (celexa, zyprexa, clamazophane, prozac, zoloft, valium, etc etc you name it) they gave me horrible side effects and hence, i tried to change my life style, hoping that reduced expectations for myself would help me reduce level of stress.
i had wonderful summer, but i feel that im slowly falling down again. i cant get up, cant eat, whatever i eat, i end up throwing up, and hence i stay tired and overstressed.
i am thinking of going back to my doctor but am very skeptical as they werent able to do much for me in my past.
any suggestions.... i feel as if im at the end of the road, and cannot go on. i had dreams and aspirations but now they are all faded.
i thought of going to germany to get my masters, i thought of finishing my degree with cum laude, but im slipping away from reality.
help.
please.
no one around me understands, im the only unstable among my friends it seems.
Posts: 0 | | Registered: Tue 8 Oct 2002 15:41 |
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| | "Re(1):going crazy" , Tue 15 Oct 09:03
thanks for the replies guys.
but today is the ultimate day.
i literaly blew up on everything around me and decided to screw it all and just stay home and bum. my housemate thinks that im just being difficult and unproductive and stupid and all that.
may be i am, may be i am not.
it was thanksgiving here in canada and i guess i did have a good thanksgiving, i tried to make the best for everyone. one of my friend wanted to bake, so we baked. one of them wanted a bird dinner, so i did that. my housemate wanted to bring ppl for supper, so i cleaned the house and did the laundry. then they wanted to go out and play ball so i did that.
now im just sleeping 13 hours and have horrible headache. my doc called me on the friday cuz i totally broke down during an appointment.
im thinking of going down to the local psychatric emergency unit. just stay away from ppl and calm down a bit. but the horrible part is that i want to hurt them. i want to go down with no msg left so they would worry and panic. want to hurt them as much as they hurt me but i know that's not right.
i want to just disappear from everyone around me physically so they cant bother me.
i took another dose of olanzopine and its making me vomit.
hopefully it will all pass.
Posts: 1 | | Registered: Tue 8 Oct 2002 15:41 |
| |  "Re(1):going crazy"
, Tue 15 Oct 07:43
Dear Eddie, I guess we all feel like we're loosing it at times. SJW has helped me greatly. I think Weezel"s reply was right on when he/she said that no one can understand what you're going through unless you've been there yourself. I realize that now. I know that I couldnt even begin to find the words to explain the intensity of the feelings that pound me inside. So I have shared none of this with my family because I know their understanding would only be surface level. I am older(40's)and with the help of SJW am keeping myself above water. This site also offers a lot of support. Without it I would have been lost. Stay tuned in.
elizabethe
Posts: 6 | | Registered: Thu 10 Oct 2002 5:53 |
| | "Re(1):going crazy" , Mon 14 Oct 00:42
Dear Eddie
how are you feeling now. I am in australia which means that as we are approaching summer and things are getting warm and the sun is coming out I am feeling a lift. Thank god, at last. That feeling of slipping into the black holer is awful. You can feel your self going but have no idea why or how to get out of it. Summer will be back next year. Hang on, the sun always comes back.
All I know about this depression stuff is that you HAVE to keep active. Force yourself to go for a walk every day. Force yourself to do one thing you have enjoyed in the past every day. By doing this at least you can still see the light at the top of the hole.
Nobody has a hope of understanding unless they have been there. Hell I bet you don't even get close to understanding it. Doctors can be pretty average hey? Some of them just prescribe and want you to rack off. Others actually take an interest. I scared my doctor so much he's sending me to a psychologist. It is not cheap but helps a heap.
If you need to talk we will all be here for you. Tell us why you think it all started to go wrong. What THEY did that has festered over the years. Recognising it is the first step. I am the youngest of two. My big brother is a wonderful guy. Parents are a bit dysfunctional (now divorced,) but that's not unusual is it. I believe my work has driven me here through burn out and extreme fatigue but it is certainly built on the foundations and wounds of my childhood.
As soon as you read this turn off the tv and get out and do SOMETHING. anything. Then write me a reply.
It will get better.
Big hugs
Weezel
Posts: 3 | | Registered: Fri 26 Jul 2002 6:3 |
| | "Re(1):going crazy" , Wed 9 Oct 09:14
Hey there, so sorry to hear that you've been having all these problems. I know what it feels like. I've struggled with depression since I was 12. I'm 23 now. When I was first put on Prozac it didn't do too much for me. I was still suicidal after a good while being on it. It gave me horrible side effects so I stopped taking it. I've been taking SJW for 4 weeks now along with Omega 3 fatty acids. The SJW kicked in on the 3rd day and since then my depression lessened but my anxiety hasn't gotten any better so I'm going to take B Complex with it for my general & social anxiety.
I would suggest to you to take something else along with SJW since you haven't had any luck with other drugs. Maybe you should try SJW with B Complex or 5-HTP. SJW 900 MG a day, STANDADRDIZED. 5-HTP 100 mg a day. Usually the bottle says 50mg a day but you can increase it if you don't feel any better. Also theres SAM-E for depression but its more expensive than SJW and HTP.
Take care!
Posts: 36 | | Registered: Tue 10 Sep 2002 15:9 |
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