jennaNC525
16th October, 2006, 08:30 PM
Hi all, just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Jenna and I'm 27 years old. I have been suffering from what I believe is clinical depression since I was 14 years old. I can't recall any event that set it off, I just look back on my life and I know how I felt physically, mentally and emotionally prior to the time I was 14, versus after. I had a major bout with depression at 14, and it pretty much followed me around after that and has progressively gotten worse. There have been a few times when I felt like it was starting to lift, but those have been rare and I haven't felt like that in so long now, I know my depression is not getting any better. I have never been diagnosed, because honestly I'm embarrassed. I went without insurance for years so it wasn't even a possibility. And now that I have insurance, I am too embarrassed to tell my doctor that not only am I clinically depressed, but that I have been this way for 12 years....so long in fact that I am beginning to forget what life was like before I fell into this black hole that is depression. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know when you're depressed. At least in my case. I'm embarrassed even now, under cover of anonymity, to admit just how bad things are. Maybe in time I will be able to share more of that. Or after I read some other posts maybe lol.
Anyway, I am at a point of change in my life. I have alot of things going on, and I need to get it together. I have two small children and I'm recently separated from my husband so I'm doing this alone. As I said, things are bleak from that standpoint so its important that I do something to keep my head above water for their sake.
I have just started taking SJW today. I took my first dose this afternoon 5 minutes after buying it at the drugstore. I've known about SJW for years. I don't know why I have never taken it before....probably BECAUSE of my depression, ironically. I am optimistic, and it is my greatest hope that SJW will, in time, help me to feel better. I have a feeling that people in my life are going to be pretty shocked when they start to see certain changes in me. I've been "this way" for so long now, ALL of my adult life, that when people see me making some positive changes and having a different outlook on life, and participating in society...they are going to be pretty shocked. The important thing is that *I* know that this person I am right now...is not the real me. The real me is who I was until I turned 14 years old. I remember that girl, how she felt about life, the things she enjoyed doing, the energy level she had, the "normalcy" of her. And this person that I am now, is so far from that its not even funny.
Anyway, I'm a talker...as you can see. I am really looking forward to finding people here who have some of the issues that I have because well, misery loves company LOL. I just hope that all of us can overcome them of course. Thanks for reading if ya got this far!
Jenna
Anyway, I am at a point of change in my life. I have alot of things going on, and I need to get it together. I have two small children and I'm recently separated from my husband so I'm doing this alone. As I said, things are bleak from that standpoint so its important that I do something to keep my head above water for their sake.
I have just started taking SJW today. I took my first dose this afternoon 5 minutes after buying it at the drugstore. I've known about SJW for years. I don't know why I have never taken it before....probably BECAUSE of my depression, ironically. I am optimistic, and it is my greatest hope that SJW will, in time, help me to feel better. I have a feeling that people in my life are going to be pretty shocked when they start to see certain changes in me. I've been "this way" for so long now, ALL of my adult life, that when people see me making some positive changes and having a different outlook on life, and participating in society...they are going to be pretty shocked. The important thing is that *I* know that this person I am right now...is not the real me. The real me is who I was until I turned 14 years old. I remember that girl, how she felt about life, the things she enjoyed doing, the energy level she had, the "normalcy" of her. And this person that I am now, is so far from that its not even funny.
Anyway, I'm a talker...as you can see. I am really looking forward to finding people here who have some of the issues that I have because well, misery loves company LOL. I just hope that all of us can overcome them of course. Thanks for reading if ya got this far!
Jenna