My experience by timmac +7 replies [Archive] - Kelly's SJW discussion forum

Kelly

2nd April, 2006, 10:58 PM

27 August 2003

Topic Title: My experience
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td width="26%" bgcolor=#dddedd valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left>
timmac </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "My experience" , Wed 27 Aug 13:47<HR SIZE=1> Hello to anyone who might want to respond. I'm 39 years old and I use to be a very happy funny guy. That started to change about 5 years ago. Nothing happened, I'm doing better than ever. I have a great job, great wife, and great kids. I have a nice house and live in a nice community. Over the past year, I've been feeling like life isn't worth continuing. I talk about death a lot and there have been times I felt like committing suicide. I'm just not brave enough to do it. If I get in an argument with my wife I won't talk to her and I'll go a week without talking. I get irritated at very small things. Two weeks ago it came to a head, my wife started asking about something I was looking into for her car. I kept it private because I didn't know if I was going to do it or not and when she asked me about it, it bothered me. We argued and I felt the darkest I've ever felt. I wanted it all to end. She came up and told me after a couple of hours that she was worried about me and that I needed to get help. I don't want to go to a doctor about it, I don't know why. I started looking at web sites about depression treatment and didn't like the side effects and experiences people were talking about for prescripted medicine. I found info on SJW and started taking it. It's been 3 days. I don't know if I feel any better, but I'm not as down as I usually am. I'm hoping it will work better. I don't know what the dosage is, I just followed the recommendation of 2 tablets, 3 times a day. Seems like a lot of medicine taking, and after reading here, I think I want to try to take it all at once. I work shift work at my job and I think that the change in my routine and sleep cycle might be a big part in my depression. I get very irritated when my wife thinks that because I worked midnights and I'm home during the day that I shouldn't be sitting around. I explain how she comes home in the evening and her routine was to watch prime time tv. Well, my prime time would be different if working another shift. Once I bring her into the conversation it's over, I've learned over the years that it's just not worth it. The problem is that I feel like I'm not even living, I'm just going through life trying to not piss anyone off, and it's getting old. Well, if anyone sees anything in here they would like to comment about, I would love to hear what you think. thanks
<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 0 | | Registered: Wed 27 Aug 2003 13:32</td></tr></table> </TD></TR><TR><TD bgcolor=></TD></TR><TR><TD bgcolor= >
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td width="26%" bgcolor=#eeeeee valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left>
Teddy </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(1):My experience" , Fri 29 Aug 11:38<HR SIZE=1> Boy do I know that feeling, going through life just trying not to piss anyone off. Well, thats fine as long as it doesn't lower my life quality. My new pursuit in life is quality and hopefully some quantity too, SJW is helping me find it. Look for concetrated forms of SJW, you won't have to take so many caps, might even save a bit.(Check Brands section)

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 5 | | Registered: Thu 28 Aug 2003 2:41</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td width="26%" bgcolor=#dddedd valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left>
Toni <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/p72.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#eeeeee> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(1):My experience" , Thu 28 Aug 17:08:<HR SIZE=1> I just read your post with concern and just want to make a few suggestions: You have already done something great and that has been to acknowledge that you have a problem and you are taking steps to do something about it. You won't like this suggestion, but if you are contemplating suicide, you really need to talk to someone. That's not easy to do, but you need to find out why you are thinking and feeling this way. This may help you with relationship issues too. Take care of yourself. Get a physical. Make sure you are eating healthy and exercising. (It is amazing how too much sugar can negatively impact our moods.) I try to pound the payment for 2 miles every day and lift light weights 3 days a week. I think it releases the stress from my mind and body. Keep trying the SJW. For some it can take a period of 4 months or so to have an effect. Set a goal to do something every day to improve your situation and don't give up. Even reading this site for ideas is so very helpful. Find ways to make changes to improve your life (i.e., Is it possible for you to change job shifts and get your sleep patterns regulated?). You are so very valuable. Don't throw your life aside. You will find your way, but you just have to change what you are currently doing because it isn't working for you. That happy funny guy is still within you. He's just been buried under some type of covering whether it be a physical, emotional or spiritual. Keeping chipping away and I know you will find him again. Take care....

[this message was edited by Toni on Thu 28 Aug 17:27] <HR SIZE=1>Posts: 1 | | Registered: Thu 28 Aug 2003 16:25</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="6%"> </td><td width="20%" bgcolor=#dddedd valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left>
timmac </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(2):My experience" , Thu 28 Aug 20:18<HR SIZE=1> Thank you for your post and the information you offered. I do exercise regularly, I run about 25 - 35 miles per week. Usually when I'm running a lot and have goals (running races) I feel ok. My diet isn't the greatest although lately I've been trying some things. I've been fasting once a week for the physical benefits I heard it offers (Paul Bragg, The Miracle of Fasting). I've read a lot of the posts and I can't believe all the people that are feeling like I feel. I have a coworker that is taking Prozac and he has a lot of problems from it. I don't want to take drugs to feel right. I'm not even sure if I want to continue with SJW. I've been feeling better, I think. Although, my neck has been stiff, feels like it locks up and when I move it back it clicks. I haven't felt drowsy. I know it's going to be difficult to keep on taking the medicine 3 times a day, so I want to look at different remedies. I think after reading the posts, the main reason I don't want to talk to my doctor, is that I don't want people looking at me like I'm nuts! I've always felt stable, reliable, and sane, and it scares me that it may not be the truth. thanks for your thoughts.

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 1 | | Registered: Wed 27 Aug 2003 13:32</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="10%"> </td><td width="16%" bgcolor=#eeeeee valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left>
CanukBob <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/SirHiss.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/smile.gif"> "Re(3):My experience" , Sun 7 Sep 15:53<HR SIZE=1> I can definitely relate to your experience I started having to deal with depression around the same age (40). I think it has to do with the realization that you really are mortal. I really battled with it for a long time. I , like you had/have a great life ,a super job 4 great kids and a solid marriage with my wife/best friend. I think my depression came from the fact that when I turned forty I lost 2 people who meant a great deal to me A sister and my father in law who I loved dearly. I really think that this created the anxiety that came with the depression. I was terrified that all that I had accomplished and all that I cared about could instantly vanish. I wish I could tell you that this all came to an end but it's still a constant battle. I don't have the deep depression or constant anxiety attacks like I used to but I have been left with some of the residual problems that are a result of the body's reaction. One of them is TMJ. This is a problem created from the teeht clenching or grinding that I got in the habit of doing. It's sounds like you havce some of the symptoms of this. ie : Sore neck and shoulders , headaches , "clicking" of the jaw. I truly think that had I dealt with this with a professional early on I don;t think I would have this proble today. If I can give you only one piece of advice though, don't waste the next few years dealing with this alone, It's what I did and it cost me the very thing I worried about, time with the people I care the most about and I can't get that back. If I had it to do over my "treatment" would be to distract mylelf by taking my kids out more - Find something you can do with them and your wife, don't let yourself dwell in the low spots. And seek some help

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 0 | | Registered: Sun 7 Sep 2003 15:52</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="10%"> </td><td width="16%" bgcolor=#dddedd valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left>
Teddy </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#eeeeee> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(3):timmac, fasting?" , Sat 30 Aug 04:24:<HR SIZE=1> You may want to rethink the fasting as it effects your blood sugar levels and which can contribute to depression. A better bet might be to improve your overall nutrition, you indicate that it's not great. Just a sugestion!

[this message was edited by Teddy on Sun 31 Aug 11:23] <HR SIZE=1>Posts: 11 | | Registered: Thu 28 Aug 2003 2:41</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="10%"> </td><td width="16%" bgcolor=#dddedd valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left> Toni <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/p72.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> Home Page <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/home-1.gif" border=0> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(3):My experience" , Fri 29 Aug 15:51:<HR SIZE=1> You are doing some positive things for yourself! I understand about not wanting to go to a counselor. I went to one for a year having first done some sessions over the phone and then face-to-face. I found someone about an hour and a half from my home so I didn't have the stigma of someone possibly knowing about this in our small town. My going was more to deal with issues from my childhood, not for depression. You may want to at least give the SJW a 6 month try. I am anti medicine just like you as I know how bad the side effects can be (my mother has a mental illness and has been taking meds for years and it always seems she battles the side effects as much as her illness). I just started taking SJW about 2 months ago (only 1 per day -- first thing in the morning). I am trying it as I have been battling extreme fatigue and so far medical tests find nothing. The Dr. asked if I ever thought I could be depressed since I have a very demanding job and then have the responsibility for helping my mother. I never considered that depression could be the reason. Since starting, I do feel about a 10-20% increase in my energy, and notice that my concentration and ability to deal with stressful situations has greatly improved. I don't know if this is from the SJW or from taking better care of myself all the way around. I'll keep you in my prayers and wish you the best as you try to deal with all of this. Take care....

[this message was edited by Toni on Fri 29 Aug 15:52] <HR SIZE=1>Posts: 2 | | Registered: Thu 28 Aug 2003 16:25</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="14%"> </td><td width="12%" bgcolor=#eeeeee valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left> willy </td><td align=right> Home Page <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/home-1.gif" border=0> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(4):My experience" , Tue 9 Sep 20:35<HR SIZE=1> Well Timmac, I understand exactly what you are talking about since I have been living the same thing, minus the good job. St. Johns Wort has helped me tremendously, though the emotional changes catalyzed by the treatment of my depression and asthma have caused a huge rift in my primary relationships. It sounds like if you get well, you too willl have some relationship issues to sort out. Just a heads up. Good luck to you.

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 10 | | Registered: Mon 18 Aug 2003 14:41</td></tr></table>
</TD></TR></TABLE></TABLE>