Unable To Speak when depressed, by David (+15 replies) [Archive]

Kelly

19th February, 2006, 05:31 PM

March 17, 2003
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td width="26%" bgcolor=#dddedd valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left> David <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Elmo.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> Home Page <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/home-1.gif" border=0> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Unable To Speak" , Mon 17 Mar 01:24<HR SIZE=1> Hi Everyone: Another of my random, intermittent posts here! I was just wondering if something that frequently happens to me on a 'down day' (of which there has been many recently) has been experienced by any of you too. I find that when I'm feeling low I somehow lose the ability (and imputus) to speak - not physically of course, but I just seem almost unable to have a conversation, or answer people with anything else than nods, grunts and other such responses which are hardly becoming in polite society!<IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/emoticons/rolleyes.gif"> At these times I usually strive to be alone somewhere such as the gym, shopping, reading, sightseeing etc (probably a bad option), because it just seems that I cannot bear to be around people who may engage me in conversation or dialogue. Then when my mood lifts, which is generally a day or two later I'm absolutely fine and chatting, debating, argueing and joking away with the best of them, as if nothing had happened. I've always had the need to have some time alone anyway, but wondering whether this rings any bells with anyone else??? David

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 287 | | Registered: Sat 13 Oct 2001 17:39</td></tr></table> </TD></TR><TR><TD bgcolor=></TD></TR><TR><TD bgcolor= >
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td width="26%" bgcolor=#eeeeee valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left>
ernesto </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(1):Unable To Speak" , Thu 10 Apr 17:57<HR SIZE=1> It's very relieving to know all of you have or had this communication breakdown before. Well, before I was taking SJW I found it extremely difficult to maintain a conversation with anyone, including my closest friends, which was very disconcerting. IT wasn't so much that I had nothing to offer to the discussion, as it was that I was in simply, such a wretched mood that I choose not to, which only increasingly became self-damaging to me as time passed. I would deliberately avoid social contact if placed in a situation where I be forced to talk with a friend or aquaintance by fumbling for an excuse to justify my quick escape, and leave them confused in thinking that I was an arrogant jerk for not wanting to talk, but really I was just unable to do so. EVery morning I went to work, seeing the same people there, effortlessly chit chatting about small things to customers, chit chatting about nothing in particular, which I found to be incrediably difficult to do. My anxiety deepened and resentment started to supplant feelings of my communication inabilities, which became at times, frightfully noticeable. I would barely bring my self to answer questions set forth to me by a customers, only being able to grumble out a brief, terse answer, which probably made me appear incompetant and made the customer only bafled as to why I was working in retail if I couldn't give a satisfactory answer to anything. ANd that became just that. I wasn't allowing myself to express anything., even though I had the ablility to, I just wasn't. I failed to properly convey my feelings, which in a most relationships is essential, and ultimately left me with feelings of incomptenancy and failure. SO, I heard about this SJW thing and decided to give it a try. I went down to the health food store and bought a bottle of the capsules(I forget what brand it is since it's at my work..I belive it is Soular)and less than 3 days I noticed a complete change in my moods. I was actually craving socializing with friends at parties, easily talking with people, maintaing good conversation while not appearing at all, anxious or angry. This is a very thing. I am plllleeeeeaaasssseeedddddd. Thanks for reading, --Ernesto

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 0 | | Registered: Thu 10 Apr 2003 17:27</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td width="26%" bgcolor=#dddedd valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left>
Aces <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Genie.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#eeeeee> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(1):Unable To Speak" , Thu 20 Mar 01:23<HR SIZE=1> Hi David, I have exactly the same thing with being unable to talk - when I 'crash' I get problems stringing words together, and it feels almost like if I speak too much, what little emotional strength I have left will be leaked out. Aside from that, the feeling that drives it seems to be a feeling of being over-preoccupied: that I have too much going on in my brain to be able to deal with talking. Its like a contraction into focussing on just thoughts. The opposite, when things are going OK is an opening up - taking in the surroundings, listening, feeling the tension in my shoulders etc, rather than being numb to everything other than the thoughts. I find Mindfullness a really useful way to battle against this. I.e. Forcing myself to listen to the body, hear and feel whats going on around me etc. Have you heard of this? Take it easy, Matt

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 10 | | Registered: Wed 19 Feb 2003 1:30</td></tr></table>
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germanator <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/TheJoker.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(1):Unable To Speak" , Mon 17 Mar 09:12<HR SIZE=1> I have felt this same experience for quite some time now. Some times when I'm talking to someone whether it's my mother, girlfriend or even a friend I seem to get this anxious feeling like I just want to leave and be alone. So I do the same thing, give short answers and really can't concentrate on the subject at hand. I work as a Police Officer for crying out loud. So I can't have these feelings. It's part of the job to talk to people. Ever since I started SJW however, I've noticed I talk to people more easily without the anxious feelings.

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 8 | | Registered: Thu 13 Mar 2003 14:8</td></tr></table>
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elizabethe </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(1):Unable To Speak" , Mon 17 Mar 05:36<HR SIZE=1> Definitely! Im with you on this. On a bad day I tend to turn inward. Its like I need all my energy for myself. General fun conversation feels too burdensom and theres no appeal/attraction. It extends beyond the circle of me. On a good day, which now are more often, its a whole different story.

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 59 | | Registered: Thu 10 Oct 2002 5:53</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="6%"> </td><td width="20%" bgcolor=#dddedd valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left> Daniel <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/b11.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> Home Page <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/home-1.gif" border=0> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#eeeeee> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(2):Unable To Speak" , Mon 17 Mar 17:19<HR SIZE=1> Yes, I know that feeling all too well. It's very noticeable to me because there is a seasonal component to my depression. I generally have rather mild or occasionally no depression in the summer, which always turns into moderate depression in the winter. I've found that in the winter I often want to spend a lot of time alone because I just haven't got the energy to be sociable, whereas in the summer I'm fine most of the time (though I'm still quite quiet at the best of times). SJW has made quite a difference. I still have a few bad days when I don't feel like being around other people but since I started taking it in December I've surprised myself a few times. I've been to parties which I wasn't looking forward to, because I didn't think I would feel like being sociable, but I ended up talking to people and really enjoying myself, like I would in the summer. Long may it continue! Dan

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 120 | | Registered: Sat 14 Dec 2002 17:8</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="10%"> </td><td width="16%" bgcolor=#dddedd valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left> David <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Elmo.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> Home Page <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/home-1.gif" border=0> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(3):Unable To Speak" , Tue 18 Mar 16:55<HR SIZE=1> Thanks for the replies! Nice to know it's not only me! Sorry about not replying to you all individually, but it's almost 01:00 here and I'm starting to think of bed! Germanator: I know what you mean about things being made more difficult by being in a job which by it's very nature requires and demands social interaction - I teach English at the moment, when I think about some of the days I've had where I had to force myself not only to speak in the classroom and correct the students, but also to actually stand in front of a group of them and speak I can't belive that I managed it and wonder whether 'forcing the issue' makes the period of these feelings even more protracted and drawn-out?? What do you think?? Elizabethe: 'Turning inward' - great description for it, and unfortunately something I've always had an innate talent for doing!...although after about the age of 17 it thankfully diminished a lot, so that now at the ripe old age of 24 (in 12 days time<IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/emoticons/party.gif">!) it only happens on these down days. Daniel: I have noticed that I often feel worse in winter too, particularly the grey, cold days. This fact in itself presents me with a problem because living as I do at the moment in Russia where the winters have to be experienced to be belived (just got through this one where the temperature got down to minus 30<IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/emoticons/eek.gif">!) there are quite a few of these types of days which occassionally make me feel devoid of energy and at times unsociable. Have you tried anything else to help with this?? Thanks everyone! David

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 292 | | Registered: Sat 13 Oct 2001 17:39</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="14%"> </td><td width="12%" bgcolor=#eeeeee valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left><IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/male.gif" alt="Im a Guy !">Kelly Moderator <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Scooter.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> Home Page <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/home-1.gif" border=0> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(4):Unable To Speak" , Wed 19 Mar 12:08<HR SIZE=1> I certainly can relate to your experiences as well... and I also believe that there's a season component to my depression too. It's funny how during my year travels in the tropics I didn't need SJW at all, in fact quite the opposite. And I certainly got my share of sun, rest assured. <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/emoticons/dance.gif"> I used to find the need to isolate myself when I was feeling down rather disconcerting. It's good to have time alone (and being rather unemployed at the moment, I have lots of that) but it's also good to force yourself to interact with people. Sometimes I'm surprised how easy other people can lift my mood -- particularly if I'm close to them. I'll admit, though: sometimes it makes it much better, sometimes it makes it worse. Cheers, k

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 487 | | Registered: Thu 5 Oct 2000 21:48</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="14%"> </td><td width="12%" bgcolor=#dddedd valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left> Daniel <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/b11.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> Home Page <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/home-1.gif" border=0> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#eeeeee> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(4):Unable To Speak" , Tue 18 Mar 19:37<HR SIZE=1> In my case I believe its a case of SAD (or "winter blues"), which is caused by the relative lack of light in the winter. I definitely feel better on sunny winter days than on grey days. One thing that I find can help me feel less depressed in the winter is to go for a walk outside. That way I get the benefits of exercise combined with the extra daylight I need. Of course if its minus 30 outside that may not be a very attractive idea... <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/emoticons/smile.gif"> Dan

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 127 | | Registered: Sat 14 Dec 2002 17:8</td></tr></table>
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sohiab </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(5):Unable To Speak" , Wed 19 Mar 11:32<HR SIZE=1> I can relate to the same feelings as well my depression definatly has a seasonal component. The feeling of wanting to fall in on my self and not allow anymore information in from the outside world is also an important one for me. Though in fareness it has gotten worse.

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 6 | | Registered: Tue 18 Feb 2003 14:13</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="14%"> </td><td width="12%" bgcolor=#eeeeee valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left> Dupont <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/USAHockey.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> Home Page <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/home-1.gif" border=0> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(6):Unable To Speak" , Thu 20 Mar 02:13<HR SIZE=1> My mom said she knows when I'm depressed because I don't talk. For those with SAD, ever try a tanning bed during the winter?
 MJ DuPont
<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 492 | | Registered: Wed 20 Jun 2001 6:19</td></tr></table>
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mmf <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/springbirdie.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#eeeeee> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/smile.gif"> "Re(7):Unable To Speak" , Thu 20 Mar 08:45:<HR SIZE=1> I am Much quieter when I don't feel well, or, if I am around a bunch of people I don't know well. And if I have to participate in a group discussion, or answer a lot of questions, forget it. I can't think of one thing to say, contributing to the discussion, my mind goes blank, or even scrambles. I just look at the others answering and participating and wonder how they can come up with such good answers, while I sit there with..... Nothing. I use a lightbox for my SADs. I don't think a tanning bed uses the right kind of light that would help SADs. I'm thinking it exposes you to more ultraviolet light, which causes more damage to your skin than help in relieving SADs symptoms. I haven't tried it because I Hate wrinkles, and want to look as young as possible for as long as possible. For me, no tan is worth damaging my skin. Sigh.....I'm sure Someday they will discover that sunblock causes cancer......<IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/emoticons/frown.gif">

[this message was edited by mmf on Thu 20 Mar 08:47] <HR SIZE=1>Posts: 85 | | Registered: Sat 29 Sep 2001 10:2</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="14%"> </td><td width="12%" bgcolor=#dddedd valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left> Daniel <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/b11.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> Home Page <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/home-1.gif" border=0> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(8):Unable To Speak" , Thu 20 Mar 17:26<HR SIZE=1> I have that problem of my mind going blank too. It's very frustrating in any group discussion because people are always telling me that I have interesting things to contribute and that I should get more involved, but when I'm feeling down I just don't seem to be able to think at the same speed as other people. Dan

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 130 | | Registered: Sat 14 Dec 2002 17:8</td></tr></table>
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sheephead </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(9):Unable To Speak" , Fri 21 Mar 01:40<HR SIZE=1> I've just read through this thread and am extremely glad (well...you know what I mean) that other people have experienced the same thing. When I'm going into 'down' mode I just switch off and go into myself. After it happens a few times you just recognise it, see it for what it is, and can be fairly dispassionate about it. Last time it happened was on Christmas day with all the family round. I just had to leave beacause I couldn't handle being there around people who were expecting me to be normal. The next day I went round again and they all said 'you did the right thing' and 'Don't worry, we had a good time anyway'. Cheeky buggers. At least it got me out of having to watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' for the umpteenth time. Sheephead.xx

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 10 | | Registered: Sun 29 Dec 2002 11:31</td></tr></table>
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Aces <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Genie.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#eeeeee> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(10):Unable To Speak" , Mon 24 Mar 06:11<HR SIZE=1> LOL Sheephead :D Good to hear you have a good sense of humour about it :) Matt

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 12 | | Registered: Wed 19 Feb 2003 1:30</td></tr></table>
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spiraljux </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "It's a wonderful life" , Thu 10 Apr 12:50<HR SIZE=1>[deleted by Kelly per spiraljux' request on 9-Sept-07.]

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 4 | | Registered: Tue 8 Apr 2003 21:20</td></tr></table>
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