Life begins at 40!!!! by Hope (+30 replies) (long!) [Archive]

Kelly

19th February, 2006, 05:27 AM

Topic Title: Life begins at 40!!!! - May 28, 2002
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td width="26%" bgcolor=#dddedd valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left>
hope <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Skippy.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Life begins at 40!!!!" , Tue 28 May 01:14<HR SIZE=1> Hi, I am totally new to SJW AND this site. I was 40 last year and celebrated in style, life was about as good as it could get. In November my husband of 39 suffered a dissected aeortic heart root and an anursym, my 11 year old son was at home with me when it all happend. He has been ill for years with heart problems but this was the biggie, I was strong called the ambulance, and then spent the next day comforting my son whilst my husband had 10 hours of emergency surgery. In 48 hours I was told he was going to die, live with brain damage or only live for a few days, weeks - still I was strong. My husband spent a month in Papworth Hospital, England. I had to be incredibly strong for him, his family flapped and were not support at all. My family and friends were fantastic. He came out of hospital, and my son is currently having genetic testing for heart conditions. I went back to my work as an Adult Teacher in January, still strong. My husband hit his downer in March, his mother then decided to try and commit suicide. Since then I have started falling, his family again no support were angry that we did not give his mother more attention, very difficult with what we had and were going through. Three weeks a good friend died of lung cancer, I was the strong support for his wife and have been since. Many other things have happended which I will not bore you with, I am now being blamed for things and for being too emotional and asking for help from his family. Last straw. Hence the SJW, I am now crumbling, many tears, waves of hopelessness and fear.Doctor not helful at all, am having couselling this afternoon, used her 3 times before when my husband was ill. Having a few weeks off work. I so want this SJW to work without having to go to conventional methods, my strength has been sapped out of me and I need to be well for my son who has been through so much. In times of adversity the real people come out of the woodwork, the good and bad of people seep out. I want to hold on to the good, but the bad is destroying me. Any messages of support would help, I have been taking SJW for a week, so want it to work. Feeling very lost. Thanks hope

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 0 | | Registered: Tue 28 May 2002 0:52</td></tr></table> </TD></TR><TR><TD bgcolor=></TD></TR><TR><TD bgcolor= >
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td width="26%" bgcolor=#eeeeee valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left> klo <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/enhorning2.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> Home Page <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/home-1.gif" border=0> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(1):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Fri 31 May 12:57<HR SIZE=1> Sorry to hear about your problems. Bad things always come at the same time. I also had a difficult time in the last 2 years, lost alot of money in investment, out of job for two years and then found out I had cancer. My friends and family expect me to swallow everything without a problem. And I pretend to be a normal person, strong and independent, as usual. I don't think my depression is really related to what happened in the past two years as I always feel life is pretty meaningless and worthless. But it comes to the time I feel I should do something to help myself, as I think depression will affect my health. SJW is helping me now, I hope it will help you too.
<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 10 | | Registered: Sat 4 May 2002 13:40</td></tr></table>
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hope <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Skippy.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#eeeeee> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(2):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Thu 6 Jun 05:07<HR SIZE=1> dear klo thanks for your reply. So sorry to hear your news, so hope you are recovering from Cancer. Pretending to be strong and able to go on works for quite awhile when you really try it is when the people who do not really matter start to matter that you know it is a deeper problem. When I look at my son I know life does matter, when somebody is kind, like your reply, life does matter.I can remember in my 20s travelling around Australia on my own. Life really mattered then and it was a fantastic feeling to find that inner peace and strength. Perhaps as we get older and have more knocks we need to be more gentle on ourselves and radiate kindness. As I mentioned before the good people get better and the unkind people really show who they are. Perhaps this site is full of people who have been kind and who are kind. That is what matters. Hang in there. Hope

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 4 | | Registered: Tue 28 May 2002 0:52</td></tr></table>
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daverichmond </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(1):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Tue 28 May 03:17<HR SIZE=1> I don't really know where to start except to express my admiration for the strength and courage you have shown. It's no wonder you're feeling a bit crumbly. As you said, it's times like this you really find out who are your true friends. You will also find some you never knew you had. Hang in there, we're with you. On SJW, it will probably take 5 to 6 weeks to really take effect, but if you are feeling no difference at all after a couple of weeks, try changing brands, don't just give up on SJW. All anti-depressants are incredibly variable in their efficacy on different people. I personally use Healthspan. I've tried several others - I found Boots own label useless, other people on this site have found it very effective. All the very best Dave

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 44 | | Registered: Wednesday 3 Jan 2001 12:42</td></tr></table>
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hope <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Skippy.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(2):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Tue 28 May 05:55<HR SIZE=1> dear daverichmond thank you for your reply, what a fantastic site this is. People can be objective, helpful and compassionate, which I am sure will help me get through this. hope

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 1 | | Registered: Tue 28 May 2002 0:52</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="10%"> </td><td width="16%" bgcolor=#dddedd valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left> Jos <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/p129.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> Home Page <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/home-1.gif" border=0> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#eeeeee> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(3):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Thu 30 May 09:54<HR SIZE=1> Sorry to hear you have been going through such a bad time, Hope .. I trust and hope the SJW will make a difference to you. Unsympathetic doctors can be a real pain and it is worth 'shopping around,' as it were, to see if you can find a better one...
 Jo
<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 181 | | Registered: Tue 12 Mar 2002 5:43</td></tr></table>
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hope <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Skippy.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(4):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Thu 30 May 12:23<HR SIZE=1> dear jo thank you for your reply. am having a bad day today, feeling really down and incredibly sad. am taking some herbal kalm tablets also and felt better earlier but this black cloud has come back and swallowed me up. went out with my best friend yesterday who is lovely, just innocently want to be around kind, caring people at the moment. Not getting the support I need at home, hope tomorrow is better. hope

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 2 | | Registered: Tue 28 May 2002 0:52</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="14%"> </td><td width="12%" bgcolor=#eeeeee valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left> Jos <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/p129.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> Home Page <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/home-1.gif" border=0> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(5):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Fri 31 May 03:53<HR SIZE=1> Sorry to hear you are having a bad day :( Without meaning to fall back on trite cliches, I guess with depression you have to take things one day at a time: today might be bad, tomorrow might be even worse, but the sun might come out on Sunday. Speaking of Kalms, I used them for a while, and today bought some Kava Kava for the first time instead. Do you find them helpful?
 Jo
<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 182 | | Registered: Tue 12 Mar 2002 5:43</td></tr></table>
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hope <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Skippy.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#eeeeee> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(6):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Thu 6 Jun 05:01:<HR SIZE=1> thanks for message. Feel abit numb at the moment I feel this bubble of sadness in me, but I do not know if the SJW is supressing it. Have never tried Kava Kava, the Kalms seem to be helping me if I am around alot of people. Have my 12 year old son home this week from a weekly boarding school so trying to remain as up as possible. Had a lovely chat with a friend this morning. Seeing a counsellor tomorrow who is really positive. Aiming to go back to work next week, very sympathetic boss and have lovely adult students who often lack self esteem. Only have a few weeks until the end of term. Waiting for the sun to come out. Hope

[this message was edited by hope on Thu 6 Jun 05:09] <HR SIZE=1>Posts: 5 | | Registered: Tue 28 May 2002 0:52</td></tr></table>
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hope <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Skippy.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(7):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Wed 12 Jun 14:06<HR SIZE=1> hi, anybody out there. Week three, seeing my counsellor tomorrow who always makes me feel good, attempting to go back to work. Had some students with personal problems chatted to them which made me feel better. Feel calmer but do feel sad, trying yoga next Tuesday for the first time, read a positive book called be happy dammit over the weekend. Trying hard to not be too blue. Would love to hear from anybody. hope

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 8 | | Registered: Tue 28 May 2002 0:52</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="14%"> </td><td width="12%" bgcolor=#eeeeee valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left> klo <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/enhorning2.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> Home Page <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/home-1.gif" border=0> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(8):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Thu 13 Jun 07:07<HR SIZE=1> Hi Hope, good to know that you are seeing a counsellor who can make you feel good. I don't know if this will help you, you may want to join a discussion list about depression. There are many in groups.yahoo.com (search for depression). Some of them have public archive which you can read and decide whether you want to join. Be strong and patient, know that you are not alone. If I am in good mood, I like to keep myself busy, doing different things, eat good food, joke with my friends. Some people don't understand, forgive them as they don't know what they are talking about.
<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 13 | | Registered: Sat 4 May 2002 13:40</td></tr></table>
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hope <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Skippy.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#eeeeee> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(9):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Thu 13 Jun 15:03<HR SIZE=1> thanks for reply, got rid of alot today at my session, cried alot.....feel abit numb at the moment. It was lovely to come on the site tonight and feel that I am not alone, it really bucks you up to get a reply. Thank you, trying ahrd to remain up. May try the site you suggest in a few days.

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 9 | | Registered: Tue 28 May 2002 0:52</td></tr></table>
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daverichmond </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(8):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Thu 13 Jun 05:20<HR SIZE=1> Hi Hope, Good to read some positive signs. Do keep talking to other people with problems - it helped me a lot knowing that I WASN'T the only person who ever felt like that. Don't be discouraged by bad days, you will still have them, just tell yourself it will go away and look forward till tomorrow. You will get better. Keep in touch Best wishes Dave

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 47 | | Registered: Wednesday 3 Jan 2001 12:42</td></tr></table>
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hope <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Skippy.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(9):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Thu 13 Jun 15:06<HR SIZE=1> Dear Dave Thank you for your kind thoughts. Got some positive books out of the library today, let fo of alot today with my counsellor don't know if I am getting stronger. Trying to be. Hope

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 10 | | Registered: Tue 28 May 2002 0:52</td></tr></table>
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daverichmond </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#eeeeee> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(10):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Fri 14 Jun 01:54<HR SIZE=1> A little trick the psychiatrist I saw told me. At the same time every day, make an assessment of how you feel. Rank it 1-10, A-Z, whatever. Keep a record - I used an Excel spreadsheet and applied trend analysis. I really didn't feel as though I was improving, but the trend line kept on going slowly but surely upwards, which gave me something to hang on to. Best wishes Dave

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 48 | | Registered: Wednesday 3 Jan 2001 12:42</td></tr></table>
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hope <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Skippy.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(2):Re(10):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Sat 15 Jun 16:51<HR SIZE=1> Logged on a 1am, feeling like I am dead inside, feel as if my tummy is crying. It was a chance to log on and great to hear from you. Spent the evening with my friend who lost her husband from cancer in April, we both feel sad and confused. I felt so up earlier in the week byut the last few days the sadness has crept over me. Will try the chart, today would be 1 out of 10. hope

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 11 | | Registered: Tue 28 May 2002 0:52</td></tr></table>
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daverichmond </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(3):Re(10):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Mon 17 Jun 05:59<HR SIZE=1> That's the way it goes. Bad is as every bit as bad as it ever was. Hopefully the up days will become more frequent. Hence keeping a chart so you can objectively monitor progress (or not). I know it's so hard to think forward when your having those sorts of days. Try to do something special on the good days as a treat to yourself. Best wishes Dave

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 49 | | Registered: Wednesday 3 Jan 2001 12:42</td></tr></table>
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hope <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Skippy.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#eeeeee> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(4):Re(10):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Thu 4 Jul 15:38<HR SIZE=1> Dear Dave Thanks for email, had a terrible Saturday a few weeks ago and felt I was going backwards not forwards. However after a good cry felt better. Do feel more in control of my emotions and more rational about all the awful things which have happened in the past six motnhs. Trying to be around good, kind people, the unkind (husband's family) are not give the airtime at the moment unitl I am strong enough or willing enough to cope with them. Reading an excellent book, think your way to Happiness. Out of 10 the last few days I have been 7. Thanks for keeping in touch. hope

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 12 | | Registered: Tue 28 May 2002 0:52</td></tr></table>
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daverichmond </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(5):Re(10):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Mon 8 Jul 03:48<HR SIZE=1> Dear Hope, That sounds really positive. You're absolutely right - embrace the positive, stay away from the negative. Recovering from depression requires a very selfish attitude - you need to consider yourself first and foremost. It's taken me two years to be able to face up to really stressful situations and cope - in the early days, I just walked away from them and left others to deal with it. Tough, they were healthy - I wasn't. You wouldn't expect someone with a hernia to help you lift something - it's the same deal with depression. Keep in touch. All the best Dave

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 51 | | Registered: Wednesday 3 Jan 2001 12:42</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="14%"> </td><td width="12%" bgcolor=#eeeeee valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left>
hope <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Skippy.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(6):Re(10):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Mon 15 Jul 17:06<HR SIZE=1> Dear Dave Your comments, recovering from depression, hit home. It is like a long healing process, the SJW is kicking in and half of the time, I feel slighltly numbed but calm enough, then bang!! Waves are crashing again, it has been beautiful sunny weather, but I get scared of the future. Feel I could never go through another year like this, but probably know that with my husband's ill health, my son being tested I will. My husband'smother and one brother now do not speak to us, after telling us what they thought of us. When you have been through so much, and are still reeling, that does not help. However, reading fantastic stuff and keeping in touch with the good ones. Thanks for email, should be asleep but could not. Lovely to get your email when I logged in. Hope

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 14 | | Registered: Tue 28 May 2002 0:52</td></tr></table>
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daverichmond </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#eeeeee> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(7):Re(10):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Tue 16 Jul 06:38<HR SIZE=1> Dear Hope, I'm glad my ramblings struck a chord. I think that accepting where you are and that getting back to where you were will take time is important. It enables you to pace your own recovery. It must not be too quick, or you could be back where you were, but not too slow or you'll never recover. Only you will know the right pace. It's perfectly alright to feel afraid for the future - it shows an understanding of yourself - if you were just in denial, I would be more concerned. I'm a terrible one for similies - imagine you were recovering from a broken leg - you're afraid to put your weight on it because you know it will hurt, but you can't hop around for ever - only you know how much pressure it will bear. You have shown tremendous inner strength and it's still there, but damaged at the moment. Carry on as you are, take it from day to day and carry on getting better. All the best Dave

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 53 | | Registered: Wednesday 3 Jan 2001 12:42</td></tr></table>
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hope <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Skippy.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(8):Re(10):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Wed 24 Jul 14:49<HR SIZE=1> Dear Dave Thank you for email, having a really bad few days, cannot stop crying or feeling this wretched low feeling. It is like a bad train journey with dark tunnels, every now and again the sun filters through but only weakly. I suppose I am masking many of my feelings now and most people do not know how awful I really feel. Do not know whether to go to the Doctors for something stronger or whether SJW and acceptance of how I feel is more healthy. It feels like life continues and I do not go with it. My husband has returned to work and seems to be getting on with it all, he cannot understand this deep sadness in me, nobody can. Does and willit get better? Hope

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 16 | | Registered: Tue 28 May 2002 0:52</td></tr></table>
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daverichmond </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(9):Re(10):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Fri 26 Jul 08:17<HR SIZE=1> Dear Hope, Sorry to hear that things don't seem to be improving. I think the first thing to say is that you must not accept how you feel and just try to get on with it. I'm not sure SJW would have, on its own, dug me out of the hole I was in. I was on Seroxat for 3 months, which really worked, but the side effects got steadily worse and eventually became too much to take, so I tried SJW and it worked (and still does). If going to the doctor does not appeal right now, you could try upping the dosage - there's lots of posts on that subject, or you could try changing brands. All anti-depressants, including prescription ones vary enourmously in effect from person to person. The most important thing is not to accept that this is how it's going to be from now on, but it is a long job. I was off work for 3 months and it was another 4 before I was back full time. It was 2 years before I was back to my old self BUT the improvement over the first month or so was sufficient for me to feel there was a way forward. If you are not improving you have to do something. As I've said before, the bad days are just as bad as ever, but the good days get better and more frequent. It sounds to me like you're not getting worse, but not improving as you would like. Hope that helps. Best Wishes Dave

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 54 | | Registered: Wednesday 3 Jan 2001 12:42</td></tr></table>
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Hope <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Skippy.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#eeeeee> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(10):Re(10):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Mon 29 Jul 14:42<HR SIZE=1> Hi I feel I want to talk and talk about how sad I feel and how I want to be happy. I cancelled my appointment with my counsellor last week because I feel that I have siad everything I want to say, I go round in circles. After an hour it is like stop now and then you go away feeling refreshed yet still things are hanging over you. Friends have their own lives and problems and as much as you bear a little to them you do not want to bear too much as you feel that it is their time and they do have their own problems. I know that I should be grateful that things did not trun out as awful as they could have done, I could be amother on my own with a demanding 12 year old, but I feel on my own even though life is full of people. After awhile I feel that I must drag others down with me so try to be up and positive, deep down I am so miserable. I really do not want to take any medication as I do not feel that I have a sympathetic doctor nor do I want side effects. SJW numbs a little, but I feel it is making me address the real me and the real issues in my head. When I was 22 I travelled around Australia on my own, I felt so alive, it was the most fantastic feeling. I was on myo own the rawness of that probably heightened my senses. That is what I want to feel, alive, as at the moment I feel I am existing. Trying to book a holiday to escape, but know it is only escaping for awhile. Perhaps this is the process I need to go through. Nice to have a non judgemental friend, thank you. Hope

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 18 | | Registered: Tue 28 May 2002 0:52</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="14%"> </td><td width="12%" bgcolor=#dddedd valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left>
daverichmond </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(2):Re(10):Re(10):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Thu 1 Aug 09:31<HR SIZE=1> Dear Hope, I think you are at a point where you need to do something different. Your recovery has 'stalled', I think. Klo has made some good suggestions. Do try one of these. Don't discount conventional medicine - it's very unfortunate that your doctor is not helpful because there is no reason to put up with bad side effects as the variation in the side effect profile is such that a good doctor can change prescriptions to suit individuals. A thought - if you do decide you need to take that route, take your husband with you to see the doctor - my wife insisted on doing that when I started suffering with bad side effects and she was prepared to push the doctor far more than I would have felt comfortable with. Anyhow, try the alternatives first. Another thought - I have used homeopathic treatment to very good effect. Contact the Society of Homeopaths for a suitably qualified practitioner in your area. Costs around ?25 a session. Also, a book I can recommend very highly is 'Depression at Work' by Vicky Maud. It didn't just help me, it helped my wife understand how to cope with me, which was a big help. Main thing, though, Hope is make some sort of change, don't just accept that's how things are. Sorry if that sounds like I'm preaching, but I know from experience that it's all too easy to just let things slide. All the best. Dave

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 57 | | Registered: Wednesday 3 Jan 2001 12:42</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="14%"> </td><td width="12%" bgcolor=#eeeeee valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left> klo <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/enhorning2.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> Home Page <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/home-1.gif" border=0> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(2):Re(10):Re(10):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Thu 1 Aug 06:03<HR SIZE=1> Hope, I am sorry to hear that you are not feeling better on SJW. Like Dave says, you may try another brand (I strongly recommend Kira) and upping the dose. SJW works for me and I feel normal again. Even though bad things happen, I feel I can handle them and not feeling desperate anymore. If you are really against drugs, you may also look into 5-HTP or SAM-e. Talking to friends and family may help a little, but what really pulls me out of my depression is the herb. I don't think anyone truly understands my feeling and what I have gone through either. So I understand what you meant by feeling on your own. Seek out a treatment that works for you. Don't rely on your friends/family. They won't understand if they haven't gone through this themselves.
<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 24 | | Registered: Sat 4 May 2002 13:40</td></tr></table>
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daverichmond </td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#eeeeee> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(7):Re(10):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Tue 16 Jul 05:48<HR SIZE=1>

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 52 | | Registered: Wednesday 3 Jan 2001 12:42</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="14%"> </td><td width="12%" bgcolor=#dddedd valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left>
hope <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Skippy.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(8):Re(10):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Sat 31 Aug 06:02<HR SIZE=1> Hi Last Monday I took myself of SJW and decided to think positve things and let go of the people who have hurt me so much. I have been surrounded by people who do love me and those who do not care really do have to 'lump'it. I ahve started to find some kind of peace. I am beginning to believe in something greater and who has ultimate love for me. I am taking each day as it comes, I am learning to accept what life has thrown at me for now. Thank you for being ther, for your support. This is an excellent site and one I will continue to visit. One week off SJW and I do not feel too bad. I very much feel that I aam on some sort of journey. Keep in touch and keep happy. Hope --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 20 | | Registered: Tue 28 May 2002 0:52</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="14%"> </td><td width="12%" bgcolor=#eeeeee valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left>
hope <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Skippy.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(8):Re(10):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Tue 13 Aug 16:14<HR SIZE=1> Hi Last Monday I took myself of SJW and decided to think positve things and let go of the people who have hurt me so much. I have been surrounded by people who do love me and those who do not care really do have to 'lump'it. I ahve started to find some kind of peace. I am beginning to believe in something greater and who has ultimate love for me. I am taking each day as it comes, I am learning to accept what life has thrown at me for now. Thank you for being ther, for your support. This is an excellent site and one I will continue to visit. One week off SJW and I do not feel too bad. I very much feel that I aam on some sort of journey. Keep in touch and keep happy. Hope

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 19 | | Registered: Tue 28 May 2002 0:52</td></tr></table>
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juju <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Venus.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#eeeeee> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(5):Re(10):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Fri 5 Jul 02:33<HR SIZE=1> Hope - in your last posting you mentioned a book, 'Think your way to Happiness'. Can you give more info on that? Who is the author? Best regards, and well done you for rising above it all! juju

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 16 | | Registered: Fri 3 May 2002 3:4</td></tr></table>
<table width=100% cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" border="0"><tr> <td bgcolor="" width="14%"> </td><td width="12%" bgcolor=#dddedd valign=top> <table width=100% cellspacing=0 cellpading=0 border=0><tr valign=top><td align=left>
hope <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/faces/Skippy.gif" border="1" width="32" height ="32" ></td><td align=right> </td></tr></table></td><td width="74%" bgcolor=#dddedd> <IMG SRC="http://www.sjwinfo.org/forums/graphics/icons/posticon.gif"> "Re(6):Re(10):Life begins at 40!!!!" , Mon 15 Jul 16:55<HR SIZE=1> Dear JuJu The authors are Dr Windy Dryden and Jack Gordon. Excellent read. I could not put it down, need to practise some of their ideas now. ABC, A is the crap life throws at you, C is how you feel. B is being rational about it, as opposed to irrational. Once you accept what has happened you can (supposdly) deal with it in an effective manner to help you heal. Good Luck. Hope

<HR SIZE=1>Posts: 13 | | Registered: Tue 28 May 2002 0:52</td></tr></table>
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